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There’s no getting around it. If you’re looking to edit visual novels, at some point you’re going to have roll up your sleeves, put on the rubber gloves, and get elbow-deep in some H. The good news is that if you come prepared, practice your technique, and set some clear boundaries, it can be a pleasurable experience for both you and the reader. First, a disclaimer: I don’t like pineapple on my pizza, and I don’t like H-scenes in my VNs. It’s not a prudish thing; it’s a narrative thing. They’re rarely well crafted — you can feel all the hallmarks of the B-team being brought in to write them — and they almost never add plot/characterization that couldn’t have been handled better some other way. (I’ll pause here so you can mention Amane’s route from Grisaia, an exception that helps prove the rule.) Let’s be honest: they’re shoehorned in to help sell product. It’s built into the economics of the eroge genre. And honestly, that’s fine. I try to be sanguine about it and think of H-scenes as banner ads or TV commercials. They’re profit centers that help support the content I’m actually interested in. (I suspect more than a few developers feel the same way.) Long story short, H-scenes ain’t going anywhere. So how do we deal with them? Go in with a game plan. [Warning, there will be some NSFW language from this point forward. Sorry! It’s all part of seeing how the sausage is made.] 1. Do your research In raw translation, sex scenes from a Japanese visual novel tend to be far from erotic. More often than not, they read like an obsessively detailed transcript of a gynecological exam. That’s not because the Japanese writing team suddenly forgot they were supposed to be penning a passionate sex scene. It’s just that what’s erotic in one culture isn’t always as erotic in another. It’s your job (along with the translator) to help bridge that cultural divide and come up with something that feels faithful to the original, yet still sexy in English. Your first stop? Research. Read some English-language erotica so you can get a better sense of what works and what doesn’t. Sites like literotica.com even have stories broken out into fairly specific categories, so if you know you’ll be editing BDSM, threesome, and footjob scripts, you’ll have no problem finding what you need. (If you have all three in a single scene, you still might be in luck.) There’s also a category called “First Time,” which is more broadly useful, given how fixated many VNs are on virgins. Read, read, and read some more. Pay attention to the verbs, the nouns, the pacing. Try to quickly form a model of what makes a sex scene successful, then look to carry those techniques over to your VN script. 2. Pack a box lunch If you take nothing else away from this post, remember this: bring a big bag of dicks; you’ll need them. Better pack a few pussies while you’re at it. By the time you’ve edited your third or fourth H-script, you’ll find you’ve run dry of good synonyms for the male and female genitalia. In KoiRizo, the raw script mostly used the word "thing" for the protag’s package, which ended up sounding childish and/or ambiguous in English. (I only kept it in a few instances where such a reaction might be appropriate — for example, when the route partner catches her very first glimpse of Lil’ Protag: “Is that your ... thing?”). The remainder of the original script was a mix of the clinical ("my mucous membrane”) and the hilarious (“my soiled meat stick”). As for ladyparts, the original script relied heavy on metaphor and indirect reference — lots of openings, entrances, gates, doors, depths, special places, overflowing pots of nectar, etc. So what’s missing from the above? The common English erotica standbys: “dick” and “cock” for men, “pussy” for women. There’s a reason for that. KoiRizo complicated things by using the Japanese equivalents of these very sparingly, reserving them mainly for shock effect in dialogue — “e.g., OMG, she just said ‘cock!’ Things must be getting real.” Moreover, when these words were finally hauled out, the devs bleeped the VO and censored the text string (e.g., “p*ssy”). That meant it was very obvious when those words were being used and when they weren’t. All of which presented quite a challenge to the team: if we were to preserve those “shocking” character moments, we couldn’t use the most common English terms 99% of the time. And so, I fell back on a shortlist of alternate references: pole, rod, erection, hard-on, manhood, etc. By the time I was done editing, however, this list felt far too limited; those words were overused pencils worn down to their nubs. This is one of those areas where, in hindsight, I feel like I could have done a better job with KoiRizo. The takeaway: If I ever tackle a VN this H-heavy again — doubtful — I’ll come packing a much longer list of euphemisms. 3. Bring a raincoat Compared to its English counterpart, Japanese erotica seems downright obsessed with fluids: saliva, vaginal secretions, semen, urine — you name it. The look, the sound, the feel, the taste, the smell, the volume. You’ll be describing a lot of liquids in a lot of ways, so get ready to break out the thesaurus. And an umbrella. 4. Embrace the improbable Let’s admit it: VN sex is over-the-top ridiculous. In a matter of seconds, sheepish virgins turn into seasoned pornstars, cramming 20 orgasms and 40 positions into a quickie broom closet hookup. (Oh so much cramming.) This is the nature of the genre, so don’t fight it; embrace it. Trying to force realism onto a typical H-scene would be like trying to force realism onto a Dragon Ball Z fight: everyone still looks constipated, but no one’s having any fun. If you’re that desperate to edit sadly mundane sex scenes, wait for the VN version of Michael Winterbottom’s 9 Songs to come out. Till then, work with what you have. I remember a tiny dustup a while back when another TL team supposedly wrote lubricant into an H-scene because they felt the acts described would be difficult or painful without it. It’s a minor thing, but if the original writer left the lube out, I’m inclined to do so too. These portions of the script are wish fulfillment at their best/worst, so just leave them be. Except ... 5. Reject the impossible ... Except when the improbable becomes the impossible. More often than not, this is either the result of a mistranslation or an error by the original writers. (As an example of the latter, KoiRizo was haunted by an entity we dubbed “phantom Riho.” A couple of times, the devs would forget they were writing another girl’s scene and use Riho’s name for a line or two instead. We fixed this in our version, but still ...) Anyway, as editor, it’s your job to keep an eye out for the impossible. Is the protag’s penis simultaneously in someone’s vagina, anus, mouth, and ear? Did the heroine’s hymen suddenly regenerate? (Starfish Girl is mah waifu!) Did a corded vibrator suddenly become a battery-operated one? Ask to have the TL double-checked and, if that still doesn’t resolve the issue, use your best judgement to fix the error while causing minimal disruption to the surrounding lines. 6. Set your limits This is important. Know what you’re comfortable with going into a project and make those boundaries abundantly clear. Some VNs can venture into very unpleasant territory — rape, abuse, gore, catgirls, etc. — and it’s best to ask yourself up front if you could, in good conscience, commit to editing that sort of content. Set your limits early on, then make sure your team’s fully aware of them. 7. Have a sense of humor At the end of the day, VNs are entertainment. Unless you’re editing Saya no Uta 2: Vom Harder, it’s probably okay to approach your H-scripts with a subtle sense of play. A decent chunk of your audience will either be fast-forwarding through these scenes outright, or paying far more attention to the visuals than the script. So think of these times as exhibition games in your script editing schedule. They’re opportunities to spread your wings a little bit, try a few stylistic experiments — maybe even slip in a sly joke or two. And even if everything doesn’t quite work, we’ll still respect you in the morning.

Haruka Haruka is the traditional 'older woman' heroine that used to be included in just about every VN, as a token to those who preferred that type. Of course, they don't come out and say how much older she is, but considering that she was in her teens when Tsumugi was a toddler... Anyway, she is a spiritualist/youkai hunter who comes to the town with the intention of hunting down a man-eater that is supposedly hidden in the populace. She gets wrapped up in the events of the main story in the common route and ends up settling in the town (and incidentally falling in love with Yukiya). She has some serious emotional scars, and overcoming those is a big part of her path. In this case, most of the obstacles that tend to be put in the path of her type of heroine and a younger protagonist don't exist, so don't expect much trouble from the outside about their romance. Rather, this path centers around her work, her personal traumas, and how she overcomes them with Yukiya's help. Like Minagi's path in the previous post, her path's ending is quite excellent and extends several years after the actual ending of the story, which left me feeling satisfied, needless to say. Anna Anna is the protagonist's younger cousin (who of course calls him oniichan, lol). She is a bright, energetic young girl with an eternal smile. Her path tends more toward the mundane, with a focus on rejuvenating the town through her and the protagonist's activities. The drama in her path is less tear-worthy than Minagi's or Haruka's, but in exchange you get a really hilarious scene in which the path's antagonist gets his just-desserts. Perhaps the funniest part about this path is the clashes between her father and Yukiya, though, lol. Similar to the other paths, it touches on events well-along the line after the endings, when Yukiya and Anna have settled down and begun living their non-student lives. Not only that, but it ends on a really sweet (cute-sweet, not cool-sweet) note that I'm sure soft-VN lovers will like. Midori Midori is the mayor's daughter and the story's serious, straight-laced heroine (of the 'iinchou' type). She is the most negative toward the youkai of all the heroines, and her start with the protagonist is about what you could expect with a lucky-sukebe event and a straight-laced girl, lol. The actual path is focused on the need - and it is present - to balance the needs of the forest and the youkai that live there with those of the people of the town. This search for a middle path is the source of most of the drama in the story, and it leads to some tense moments. Similar to Anna's path, this one isn't really tear-worthy, but it has enough laughs and normal emotional ups and downs to satisfy most readers. Her path goes the least distance from the end of the story and is thus the least fulfilling, from the perspective of those who love after-stories. Tsumugi Tsumugi is your typical 'wannabe' spiritualist. You know the type that you see in various anime/manga/VNs that love the occult and want to get involved with it but have absolutely no talent for it, right? Well, she's the typical one of that type. Similar to Haruka's path, this has a focus on the spiritualist side of things, and there is plenty of foreshadowing for those who are used to the typical patterns of VNs in modern fantasy settings. That said, it is carried out well, and the characters, setting, and events are all used to paint a really good picture. You'll probably cry at several points near the middle of her path, and the ending is quite satisfying (and adorable, lol). Like all the paths but Midori's in this VN, the after-story is quite satisfying and emotionally fulfilling. Overall The word that comes to mind with this VN is 'complete'. It is fairly rare to come across a VN that a company obviously has no intention of fandiscing to death or even hinting at some sort of side-story addition. This VN is designed to be one complete set of heroine stories, and it does everything it sets out to do about as well as you ever see. Those who like fantasy mixed with romance but without the intense violence of a chuunige will like this VN, as will those who like nakige. This is also my current prime candidate for VN of the Month (though Sumire would have been worthy if this hadn't been around). I know that most people will go 'eeeh, but I thought you disliked this kind of obvious moe-appeal VN?!' However, the fact is that any VN genre can be pleasurable if it is done as well as this one was.

Before I start this, I should probably explain the company known as AXL to the newbies. AXL, which is known for Shugotate, as well as a number of other high-quality VNs, is an 'old-hand' company that was started pretty soon after the turn of the century. They developed an extremely beautiful art style, as well as a penchant for high-quality fantasy and romance stories. The thing most people will notice upon playing any two AXL games is that the art-style is exactly the same... it still possesses somewhat thicker lines than is the norm for VNs nowadays, and the actual character faces and poses tend to be reused heavily between games. The saving grace of this is that the actual quality of the original art is so high that it still looks pretty today, so you find that you don't really mind, for the most part. Common The common route of this game is a lot closer to what you would have seen in their best games, in that it is heavy on the story and the character development. From the very beginning, you are encouraged to enjoy the protagonist breaking out of his shell and developing a relationship with the heroines, the youkai, and his new male friends. The youkai, looking like adorable stuffed toys for the most part, are mostly comedy elements, and the protagonist's relationship with the tanuki Shouji is perhaps one of the most consistently amusing aspects of it all. There is a definite serious element to the story (AXL doesn't believe in completely drama-free main stories, apparently), but that makes for much better character development during the common route. It certainly made the heroine choice about something more than who had the biggest breasts or the cutest nose! lol (this was nice after the somewhat... disappointing heroines that resided in most of the VNs I've read so far from May) Minagi I'm regretting, in some ways, choosing Minagi first. Why? Because I can't imagine a better heroine to have picked for the main/true one, haha. Minagi is the VN's 'fushigi-chan', a girl who prefers the forest to school and who avoids others' company like the plague. However, underneath her lonely mask, there lies an incredibly adorable girl that is unbelievably easy to love. Her actual route is actually one that would not have been out of place as a true one, in another VN. Right from the beginning, straight through the end, you are learning more and more about the setting, about Minagi, and about how she and the protagonist are related to it all. The drama that takes up the last part of her route is particularly fitting for a canon/true/main heroine, and I honestly think it was worth it to play this, even if just for this route. Most importantly, the ending/epilogue actually goes into detail about what happens to the heroine and protagonist afterward, concluding better than five years after the events in the main story. If I had to classify this game so far, I'd have to put it in the 'nakige' category, simply because of how deeply emotional it gets at vital moments and the fact that I spent most of the ending and epilogue crying (in a good way).