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arakura

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  1. arakura
    [[WARNING: Spoilers for When Marnie Was There and Porco Rosso]]


    Ever since I watched When Marnie Was There (Omoide no Marnie) in theaters a month or so ago I've engaged in a struggle to understand the reality that is put forth by movies with singular fantastic components. Rewatching Porco Rosso (Kurenai no Buta), one of my favorite Ghibli movies, a few weeks later really developed this desire to understand what exactly was going on in these movies. I've thought of these movies as incredible works before truly attempting to understand them, but that doesn't stop me from wondering why Ghibli often makes movies that so boldly defy a strict ruleset for reality. Why is Porco a pig in a world that otherwise matches out own? What is with the link between Marnie and Anna? Is she hallucinating or is it something more? These are questions that seemed deeply important to the movies. It's clear that these fantastic elements are at the heart of these movies, but they are so sharply designated in a world that otherwise perfectly matches our own.

    So a couple of days ago I was talking to a friend about all of the things I have to see (I'm definitely going to go ham on Yamato 2199 after writing this!) and I mentioned that I needed to see a few Ghibli movies. The conversation went on and I suggested that he might like When Marnie Was There. He responded by saying that he wanted to, but didn't like movies that "half-ass" their settings like Porco Rosso. It's an interesting comment and one that's been floating behind my ears for a while... Are these Ghibli Movies (and other stories as well, though Ghibli in particular does this often I believe) conceding the sanctity of their setting for a more interesting story? I mean, I guess it's okay, but that's not something I like to believe about some of my favorite movies. I know it was a lot more backstory than you guys may have needed (or wanted ;^^) but It's something interesting, at least to me. Is it just a hole so obvious that people look past it and appreciate the real meat of the films? I dont think so.

    I don't believe it was a concession from the authors in order to make a more enjoyable story, but rather a more direct method of expressing reality. When I was thinking about stories that would sacrifice truth for impact, I remembered a book I read in high school named The Things They Carried. The idea that is central to the fantastic elements of these Ghibli movies is the same that Tim O'Brien makes about the horrors of war: Sometimes the best way to express the truth to an outsider is through fiction. Sometimes we need something a little more than the strict facts to truly feel and understand what is happening. That's what is happening in these movies.

    The things we take away from these movies--the things really at the heart of their meaning--are related to the way people see and understand the world. Porco sees himself as a pig, dirty and below the rest of humanity because of his experiences in war. He deeply feels something about himself that we can't as clearly understand without the image of the pig. But Porco is great. I like Porco and I think he's a hero of sorts, but without the image of the pig I'm not sure it would be clear to me--especially as a child--that Porco sees himself in a completely different way. Likewise with Anna and Marnie. While a extreme realist may claim that Anna is having some seriously concerning hallucinations, I'm confident the reality behind the inexplicable relationship between herself, Marnie, and the physical world they live in is a similar statement by the author. it's a concession from the setting not for the story, but for the impact and experience felt by the reader. Anna's experiences with Marnie may well be analogous to the experiences of a very real young girl or boy undergoing some emotional and contextual reevaluation. It helps the viewer to clearly see the world through the eyes of the characters rather than through the viewer's own eyes. Your eyes may vary with the seasons. But remember: these stories do not. Because of these singular fantastic elements, their meaning stands strong and compels you to actually understand what the characters are going through.




    On another note, I want to say that I know that the way I wrote this was a little weird and unnecessary but I just couldn't really find it in me to change it. I don't really know why. I guess it comes down to the fact that I don't really like optimization. There's something artistic in letting things take their own way, I think. Though it's easy enough for me of all people to say that ^^;. I just want to get my thoughts down for people to read sometimes and screw the rest. Kind of. I have to like it, right? Then it's good to go. After that I just hope you guys do.

    On my list of things to talk about is passion and especially sharing passion. I don't know when I'll write about it, but hopefully I find it in me to do it tomorrow. So often i find myself thinking of things to write about while I'm in bed or on a walk or in the shower, but rarely can I put myself in front of the computer and step away from all the people I try to talk to online and all of the videos and such that steal my interest from writing. So who knows, maybe I'll end up talking about why I love Inuyasha so much or something weird xD
  2. arakura
    Last week I read It's A Hard Life. Three years ago I read Katawa Shoujo. And here I sit, writing, having finished neither of them. I bring this up because it says something about me that might not be immediately obvious and I wonder if maybe this actually matters. I think I'm in dire need of some accountability and of some understanding of what I'm really doing with myself.

    So, the first thing to do is to take a step back and think about why I haven't finished half of my favorite stories. From the Dune series to Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou to Hakomari and more, I've struggled for years to actually finish the stories I love the most. It's kind of a weird problem, as far as I can tell. I haven't run into anyone with quite the same issue. Let's begin.


    Do you know that moment? That moment when something is so good that you cannot stand it being ruined; When you tell your family to be quiet or turn off your phone so that nothing distracts you from something truly amazing. That moment when you decide that crunching on some chips does the mood a disservice and seriously focus in on what may just be the best thing you've read in the last two years. Or ever. It's that moment when I tell myself that the time isn't right. The mood needs improvement and I'm a little tired so tomorrow when I'm feeling utterly perfect is when I will return to this amazing experience. It's that moment, when I become aware of everything around me, that it all goes downhill. Because the perfect moment rarely arrives.
    So why not, as others have offered, just screw the mood and jump into it? It just always feels wrong. It's like having trouble trust falling. I'm afraid that if I take the chance and screw the mood, take the fall, and trust in the strength of the story I have chosen that I'll end up in in pieces on the floor. It's pretty dramatic, I know, but the dangers aren't skin-deep.

    A professor of mine once said, "identity is about the creation of meaning." And I really believe that. I've always told myself that these stories mean something. That they matter to me because they are somehow important, even if it isn't exactly clear how. These days I tie my very identity to their impact on me as a person and my development. They hold a place in my heart that I don't think it's exactly normal for stories to hold, but I'm quite happy that they are there anyway.

    That's really what it comes down to. I'm afraid that if I'm distracted or something is wrong with my mentality or what-have-you that I'll no longer feel the way I did earlier. How horrible it would be if one day I pick up the third Dune book to realize that it's not actually as good as I imagined it would be. If I were to rewatch Guilty Crown and find a plot hole I would be crushed. Something more than a story will have changed. Something about me will be different. Something I don't want to be different. It's because somewhere in the world of me I put value in these stories and they sit there in their pretty glass cases in my mind. I look at them and think to myself 'how pretty that was' or 'how much you matter to me'. I am afraid that one day I will look at something once beloved and no longer will that passion burn. And then I will be left with nothing (well... not nothing). So I stop reading Dune, afraid that the third book will not live up to my image of the first two. I stop watching Ghost in the Shell because the timing isn't right. I stop and I worry and I worry.

    I stop because I feel fragile. I want to change. So I will.

    More on that to come, probably. Thanks for reading and I'd be glad if you left a comment.
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