Please bare with my rant..
I moved back to my country of birth because of my xultural background.. as a first born son.. tis a duty to work and inherit family business and its expected of me.
In returning to this god forsaken country im in, i had to break up with the love of my life.. we tried to make it work log distant but after a year.. its hard on her and such.. but i promised her i will do whatever i can to be better and take her away with me... a fairytale ending of sorts...
....today i just found out yesterday she got married in real life.
I am actually really happy for her.
But deep down i further loathed myself and feel like i want to cry out in pain.
Though i manage to try and hold on and handle today at work as any other usual day.. my minds at blank and i feel somewhat... conflicted inside. I want her to be happy yet i also crave happiness for my own..
....im such a selfish fuckwit.
...this feeling is overwhelming.. i guess...
i dont even know what to feel at this point.