The best spam emails/comments you've ever received

[Kenshin_sama]

Ever come across a spam email or comment that was atrocious enough to garner admiration? I only get these once in a while, but they're so much fun to read, lol. Anyways, post here if you want to share your experiences with this.

 

My name is precious. i am a female i was impressed when i saw your email today when i was searching in gooogle search and i will like to established a long lasting relationship with you. in addition, i will like you to reply me through my private email box (removed) so i can give you my picture, for you to know whom i am and i believe we can move from here! waiting to hear from you soonest.
(remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters a lot in life) and a business proposal for both of us.
please contact me here
removed)
Precious

I'm kind of amazed that someone can be impressed with just my email, and the fact that it can be looked up in "gooogle" search. Good times~

[Nosebleed]

That is all kinds of cringey.

>Hey I'm really interested in you, therefore give me all your financial info, kthnxbai.

 

I don't have any spam e-mails to look up since my spammy e-mail account has been disabled and Google filters this stuff pretty well.

Kind of sad because I do remember having some interesting stuff in there.

 

Though we do have quite teh amazing spambots on Fuwa

Lots of russian viagra and WWE Summerslam tickets.

[Satsuki]

Confession: I'm a playboy.

 

[Nosebleed]

Digging through our reports a little, I know they're not e-mails but, some incredibly useful info.

 

The best part about this spam post is that, it's not even trying to accomplish anything, it's just random infodump.

10/10

 

Title:  The scent of ovulating females peak men's testosterone stages, investigate exhibits

 

Females need not trouble with shopping for the newest and trendiest scent, bodywash, or fragrance. If a woman wants to draw in attention from the opposite sex, she ought to consider flirting with him while she is ovulating.

In accordance to a new study finished by scientists at Florida Point out Unviersity, adult men are unconsciously captivated to the purely natural scent of an ovulating lady.

Scientists Saul L. Miller and Ken A. Maner discovered that a man's testosterone concentrations improve by 15 to 37 p.c when they scent the shirt of an ovulating girl.

The researchers done two independent but similar experiments. In the first placing, four gals been given white T-shirts to use for 3 evenings. The scientists collected the shirts in plastic luggage and separated the shirts from ovulating gals to non-ovulating ladies.

In the second experiment, the experts included new, unworn T-shirts.

Researchers requested adult males to sniff the shirts. Then researchers sampled the participants' saliva, which was employed to measure testosterone concentrations. Testosterone have been linked to sexual fascination.

The adult males who smelled the shirts of ovulating females in the to start with experiment experienced, on regular, testosterone degrees that were being 37 % bigger than the men who smelled the shirts of non-ovulating females.

dieting tips for women the second experiment, the testosterone amounts of the adult men who smelled the T-shirts of ovulating girls had been, on ordinary, fifteen p.c bigger than guys who sniffed the non ovulating and the fresh new T-shirts.

Irrespective of whether a 37 % or 15 percent variation in testosterone stages is ample to have an effect on a man's behavior is even now unfamiliar.

Still girls are much more flirtatious when they are ovulating, UCLA researchers say.

So incorporate it up, an ovulating girl flirts with a male whose testosterone degrees are heightened by her natural scent equals a possible relationship.

 

[Wonderfullyevil]

I delete them on a regular basis, so none sadly.

 

Most of them are like people seeking comfort, or 'could I get to know you'? Products too. Think I got one for roof selection.

[Fiddle]

Y'all using AOL or something?

[Milk Tea]

It's in an e-mail I sealed away, but it should still technically exist which means the AdultFriendFinder Newsletter I subscribed to in sixth grade should still be sending...err...35 Singles Want to Meet You and the like. 

[Tay]

"Deer madame or sirs, I would like to give you the opportunity to take a chance to consider a business proposal for my venture capitol company to purchase your website Forums Fuwanovel. We are international company headquartered in Chicago, IL and would love to have a chance to possibly discuss on Skype with you a merger or acquisition." 

 

Shared this one a year ago, but it just doesn't get old...

[Bolverk]

Time to check my shitbox then. Well, just jolly ol.money mails. No random sex for me. satsuki is getting all of them it seems ;__;

Let's see then

First my good old friend, the Nigerian bank. Seems the man found my connections with them.

Re: PAYMENT NOTIFICATION (URGENT)!!!!

 

JAMES B. COMEY, JR
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET.

ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY,


The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in conjunction with other relevant Investigation Agencies here in the State have been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you have an on-going transaction with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regard to your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favour. It might interest you to know that we have taken time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim without any further delay. We will further advise that you go ahead and deal with the governor office of Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) accordingly as we will be monitoring all their correspondence with you.

In addition, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Mr Godwin Emefiele and Mr. Paul Jones along with some of the top officials of the ministry regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase depending on when you personally apply for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor and the Central Bank office. We were also made to understand that a lady with name of Mrs. Joan C. Bailey from OHIO has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight million un ited states dollars).

More so, we were advised to warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of their contract payment from the Central Bank of Nigeria, to be very careful prior to the on-going internet irregularities,  so that they would not fall victim of ugly circumstances.  In case they are already dealing with anybody or office from the Central Bank of Nigeria are strictly advised to STOP further communication with them in their best interest and thereby contact the real office of Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) via the below information:

NAME: MR. GODWIN EMEFIELE
OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria,

....etc

 

Totally Not shady something program.

Bangkok Chips Wire

Hello,

Please can we discuss with regards to CHIPS program for which I want to use you as the executor and which will be very beneficial to us financially.

At your feedback through my email address I will divulge details to you.

Yours sincerely,
Mr. H.J.A.B.

 

Free money? WOW, how nice

United Nation approval by UK Government. lolol

 

Warm greetings to you,
I am MRS.SABINA and i wish to inform you that you have been given the
opportunity to receive
a donation ransom from me worth 850,000.00 Great British Pounds due to the
fact that i am
ill and i have no next of kin to inherit my wealth. This donation is for the
less privilege
children and people being affected with the current natural disaster all
over Asia.
 Kindly send to me the following details required. And this donation is
courtesy United
Nation approval UK Government.
Name:
Address:
Mobile:
Country of Residence:

 

" this donation is for the less privilege children and people being affected with the current natural disaster all over Asia."

Wait what the.. I ain't even from Asia! xD And I am privileged xD

[Monmon]

i aint old enuff to use blue pills...my engine still roaring like dem tiger....right?

[OriginalRen]

The face when you realize that all of the porn emails you guys are linking come from browsing sites with porn on them and signing up for certain things. 

[Nosebleed]

i aint old enuff to use blue pills...my engine still roaring like dem tiger....right?

I love the variety.

Get some sex, viagra to go with it, 2 free cameras to shoot the scene and then go do some shopping

[Eclipsed]

The face when you realize that all of the porn emails you guys are linking come from browsing sites with porn on them and signing up for certain things. 

Them noobs don't use their secondary spam email account for that stuff?!@#

 

~~

Christian single ready to mingle~

[Flutterz]

The face when you realize that all of the porn emails you guys are linking come from browsing sites with porn on them and signing up for certain things. 

Who the hell signs up on sites with por- ...oh.

 

 

I haven't gotten any spam in years because gmail does a great job of filtering it. Let's see if there's anything interesting there:

 

 - Attention Their utmost bounty on thy head

 

 - Hi! I heard a lot about you. I think that we can meet in real life & have some fun. type me at 1-872.213.4685 and I will txt you my naked pics.Thanks my love

 

I'll keep the formatting for this one

Well well my p̟ussy puniŝhe̴r

i'm l͛onͭelٕy :̏( want to come over? s͜end me a f#ckbṳdُdy requȇst ...

My us͓ernaֲme is Verene95

My profile i٘s here: [WEBSITE]

TִALK S00N̒!

[Milk Tea]

^

<<Pussy Punisher>> sounds like an achievement...

[Heizei_koukousei]

Here's a good one that we got on the Skyspear email recently

Hello Dearest one,

Thanks for your attention and I pray that my decision to contact you
will be given genuine approval. My name is Alice Gross and i humbly
write to solicit for your partnership and assistance in the transfer
and investment of my inheritance funds $10,500,000.00 from my late
father who died mysteriously.

My late father was poisoned to death by my wicked uncle during his
visit to south Africa where he has his cocoa and coffee company. I am
the only child and daughter of my parents and I lost my mother when I
was barely a year. After the death of my mother, my father refused to
re-marry another wife despite all persuasion by friends and relatives,
because he felt solely responsible for my mother's death, as he only
concentrated on his business affairs without paying attention to
domestic/family affairs.

But he ensured that I had everything that I wanted. It was as a result
of this that he made me the next of kin t o his fund deposit of
$10,500,000.00 he made in a bank so that I should have a direct access
to the funds if some thing happens to him.

I am presently in a hidding in one of the local hotels here in our
country because of my father's relatives. I have had a telephone
discussions with the director of the bank where my father deposited
the funds in regards to my plans to use the funds for investments. The
bank director assured me that the funds will be released to me once I
have someone who would be honest and willing to receive the funds on
my behalf, they shall commence all proceedings to effect the release
and transfer of the funds into the person's designated account. Once
you signify your interest to partner with me, I shall be giving you
more details such as my photo, address, telephone number, documents
relating to the transaction and the bank's contact information before
we can continue.

In conclusion, I will want us to make an offer of ten percent of the
total money to orphans and less previllage ones in your country.

Your urgent response will be appreciated.
Best Regards
Alice

Email: [email protected]

That poor girl, I better give her all my information 

[Fred the Barber]

Here's a good one that we got on the Skyspear email recently

Hello Dearest one,

Thanks for your attention and I pray that my decision to contact you

will be given genuine approval. My name is Alice Gross and i humbly

write to solicit for your partnership and assistance in the transfer

and investment of my inheritance funds $10,500,000.00 from my late

father who died mysteriously.

My late father was poisoned to death by my wicked uncle during his

visit to south Africa where he has his cocoa and coffee company. I am

the only child and daughter of my parents and I lost my mother when I

was barely a year. After the death of my mother, my father refused to

re-marry another wife despite all persuasion by friends and relatives,

because he felt solely responsible for my mother's death, as he only

concentrated on his business affairs without paying attention to

domestic/family affairs.

But he ensured that I had everything that I wanted. It was as a result

of this that he made me the next of kin t o his fund deposit of

$10,500,000.00 he made in a bank so that I should have a direct access

to the funds if some thing happens to him.

I am presently in a hidding in one of the local hotels here in our

country because of my father's relatives. I have had a telephone

discussions with the director of the bank where my father deposited

the funds in regards to my plans to use the funds for investments. The

bank director assured me that the funds will be released to me once I

have someone who would be honest and willing to receive the funds on

my behalf, they shall commence all proceedings to effect the release

and transfer of the funds into the person's designated account. Once

you signify your interest to partner with me, I shall be giving you

more details such as my photo, address, telephone number, documents

relating to the transaction and the bank's contact information before

we can continue.

In conclusion, I will want us to make an offer of ten percent of the

total money to orphans and less previllage ones in your country.

Your urgent response will be appreciated.

Best Regards

Alice

Email: [email protected]

That poor girl, I better give her all my information 

 

That is the most detail-oriented scam mail story I have ever seen. That person should stop writing scam mails and start writing Young Adult fiction.

 

95% of the spam I get is in French, which I cannot speak/understand and can only read at a glacial pace. I honestly have no idea why I get French spam. Today's is a limited-time offer, though, so I should probably get right on that:

 

Offre à durée limitée : 50% pour vous <my first name> ! ‏

[suikashoujo]

I... Have some bad news for this lady.

Surp֞rͥise surpris̈́e my little b͝oy!

i nee͠d a f~ck friend how abouِt yֽou? i'̙m 26/͙f wi͚th a big bٌ00bٛs

My screeַnname is Lorri78!!

My profi̧l̶e is here:

C u laterْ!

[Flutterz]

I... Have some bad news for this lady.

Surp֞rͥise surpris̈́e my little b͝oy!

i nee͠d a f~ck friend how abouِt yֽou? i'̙m 26/͙f wi͚th a big bٌ00bٛs

My screeַnname is Lorri78!!

My profi̧l̶e is here:

C u laterْ!

Just because she assumes you're a guy doesn't mean she wouldn't be fine with a girl... you should hit her up.

[Zodai]

I genuinely did not expect so many of those to be sex-related.

 

Like, by god I've actually gotten off lucky o_o

[Eclipsed]

 

<3

[Nosebleed]

Actually one of my e-mails does have a couple of spam e-mails looking for some action.

This e-mail was titled Sofia but signed Sofiya.

I'd say she's a winner right there.

I'm very attractive.

I know myself to be highly intuitive as well as very sensual, grounded and tenacious. Also smart, honest, creative, outgoing, meticulous, warmhearted, straightforward, unconventional, nurturing, articulate, fair and compassionate. I value balance and friendship, strive towards harmony, and know how to love deeply and well.

I am looking for someone to spend time with and get to know, we can take it from there. I am not into games. If you are honest and sincere, drop me a line, I would like to get to know you.

I look forward to getting to know you.

Sofiya

And this one is by someone named Nata. At least they signed it right.

Cheerio

I like a mix of everything. I do enjoy having a few drinks with good company and letting loose, but I also enjoy good conversation somewhere with a slower pace. Where ever I am, as long as I am laughing and having a good time I am good to go.

I'm the kind of person who will go on vacation with a pocket full of cash, and no direction. Meaning, I avoid tour groups at all cost.,and love taking the unbeaten path. So , I guess that makes me a leader...not a follower.

E-mail if you want to get to know me better.

Nata

I'd say Nata loses because she clearly doesn't value a stable financial situation.

[ohiowar]

I've been using this email for too long and nosebled Sofiya is my waifu. You ready to fight for this

What's new? 

I am the kind of girl you can dress up and take out or put on sweats and watch a dumb movie to be just as happy. 

No games.I'm looking for HONESTY!!!! Hmm.. this could take a while...He has to be able to keep up with me, whether we are going out to dance the night away.. or just content on being home with each other...
I look forward to getting to know you.

Sofiya

 

Edited June 28, 2015 by ohiowar

[Nosebleed]

Wow you also got a message from Sofia.

I literally can't even right now, I was even getting ready for a serious relationship too.

The world is full of horrible people.

[ohiowar]

Nosebleed I think Sofia is a lie