Dergonu Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 Hello ladies and gentlemen of fuwa! Today I will be sharing with you a little writing project I've been working on. Thanks so much to Forgetful Frank for agreeing to edit the book for me! When I started I was editing it myself, which is slow work and I often miss mistakes in my own writing, and so this way it should be a lot better for everyone involved Also, a big thanks to Melowbee for making the illustration for Kitsune! It's a wonderful confidence boost to actually have someone make drawings for my story! On to the book: キツネと私 - Kitsune and me Summary: After spending half a day locked in her clubroom at school, Sakura heads home in the middle of the night, in pouring rain. Taking refuge from the terrible conditions, she stumbles into and old and mysterious shrine. Here she discovers a strange little artifact that she thinks may have been stolen from a museum. Wanting to get it checked out the next day, she brings the artifact home. But as the artifact ends up coming to life in the form of the ditsy, energic and completely stunning Kitsune, Sakura's life will never be the same again... Information on the book: Kitsune and me is primarily a comedy, focusing on the relationship between the main character Sakura, and her new guardian ... fox-girl, Kitsune Mimiko. When writing it I focus primarily on having fun and silly interactions between the two, and purposely try to use clichés from common visual novel, anime, manga and light novel works. It's a fun little project I recently decided to start working on, and it's not meant to be taken too seriously. The story offers elements of comedy, romance (yuri), fantasy and action. The structure is fairly similar to most VNs, in that it starts of fluffy and is riddled with mainly humor, and then it gets more dramatic towards the end. Also, note that this is written in English, though I use certain words and phrases from Japanese. Again, this isn't meant to be taken too seriously. Words such as bentou will be in the book to keep the essence of the "Japanese setting" and words such as "ne" will be left in Kitsune's sentences, as they are a part of her speech pattern and that doesn't translate as well into English in my opinion. I also keep Japanese titles when I see fit, like using Kitsune's name. For these parts, translations are on the side of the Japanese symbols. DIGITAL PDF DOWNLOAD FOR THE BOOK! A sketch of Kitsune made by Melowbee! Art made by Melowbee, thank you x100!! Editing is done by Forgetful Frank, thanks so much for that! Special thanks to Nosebleed for helping me with Kitsune's name! Forgetful Frank, Kajahara, shuak and 6 others 8 1 Quote
MelowBee Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Oh my... You say comedy yuri game? Is...is that possible that I apply fort the art? (é o è)There is my most recent sprite (still work in progress, thought...), I don't know if the style is okay with your story (moe/kawai, rather "childish" girls) but if you want me on the projetc, I'm here! (^ o^)/ Quote
Dergonu Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Oh my... You say comedy yuri game? Is...is that possible that I apply fort the art? (é o è)There is my most recent sprite (still work in progress, thought...), I don't know if the style is okay with your story (moe/kawai, rather "childish" girls) but if you want me on the projetc, I'm here! (^ o^)/That looks really good! This is not a game though, just to clarify that. Its a book, kind of in the style of a light novel. If you still want to do some work on this, that would be great. We can talk more over PMs if you are interested Quote
Dergonu Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Chapter 3 finished and uploaded. Also have the translation document uploaded now. If you wonder about a word, for example yuri or bentou, look it up in the document called "translations." (Though if you don't know what yuri means you are missing out on something amazing. ) Suzu Fanatic 1 Quote
Dergonu Posted January 16, 2016 Author Posted January 16, 2016 Chapter 4 is now finished and uploaded, and a new, big update was done to the PDF. It is now higher quality, has been edited roughly, and has a sketch of the character Kitsune added! Also added an overview and afterword/update page to it. Thanks so much to Melowbee for making the scetch! It's absolutely perfect! Forgetful Frank has come aboard and will start editing the book. Thank you so much for that Everyone, know that my horrible grammar mistakes will now finally be purged from this planet! Chapter 5 is in progress and will hopefully be done soon. That's it, thanks for reading Quote
Forgetful Frank Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 Thank you very much for allowing me to come aboard! I promise to read through your work thoroughly and correct any mistakes I find I'm going to do my best in ensuring your LN looks very professional! Dergonu 1 Quote
Dergonu Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 Chapter 5, Defiance- finished and uploaded! Also, I´ve now finished making up names and full plans for the rest of the chapters. I´m not quite sure when I´ll finish them as I am approaching exam periods, but I write whenever I have time and hope to get them out within the next few months! As of right now, I´m thinking that the book itself will land on about 125 pages give or take a little bit. Wont know for sure until its done though! I´ll start on a volume 2 as soon as I´m done, as I´ve fallen completely in love with writing about Kitsune and Sakura. Chapter 6: The Queen´s power - Finished and released. Chapter 7: Confrontation - Finished and released Chapter 8: A broken world- ETA: Have started writing on it. Don't really know yet. Hopefully soon! Epilogue - TBA Thats it for now! Forgetful Frank 1 Quote
Forgetful Frank Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Oooh! The ending is very much in sight now, eh? Quote
Dergonu Posted January 26, 2016 Author Posted January 26, 2016 Just now, Forgetful Frank said: Oooh! The ending is very much in sight now, eh? Yup Have it all planned out and ready. Now it's all about how much slavework my school will give me Hopefully I'll have some decent time to write each week. Quote
Forgetful Frank Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 13 minutes ago, Dergonu said: Yup Have it all planned out and ready. Now it's all about how much slavework my school will give me Hopefully I'll have some decent time to write each week. Ahahahaha! Hopefully! If not, hey, you can't rush art, right? I'm looking forward to seeing you finish volume 1. Dergonu and mitchhamilton 2 Quote
Dergonu Posted January 31, 2016 Author Posted January 31, 2016 Chapter 6 is finished and uploaded! Wow, I actually got it done in under 1 week! Chapter 6 now officially puts us over 100 pages, with well over 34k words. Getting closer and closer to the end! The hope now is that I´ll be able to do the same with chapter 7-8, though we´ll see how it goes. Forgetful Frank and mitchhamilton 2 Quote
Dergonu Posted February 17, 2016 Author Posted February 17, 2016 Its been a while since my last update, so I thought I´d just get one out now. Basically, I have had a LOT to do at school recently, and so there hasnt been much time to write. Chapter 7 has actually been 50% finished for a few weeks... Good news though, my vacation starts in a few days, so during it I will have a lot of time to write. I will get chapter 7 finished then, and hopefully I´ll even get far into chapter 8! The end is near folks I´ll edit this once the chapter is finished! mitchhamilton and Forgetful Frank 2 Quote
DarkZedge Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 4 hours ago, Dergonu said: Basically, I have had a LOT to do at school recently Says the senpai who burned his HW. Good update senpai, hope you can get to it soon and keep up the great work Dergonu and mitchhamilton 2 Quote
Dergonu Posted February 23, 2016 Author Posted February 23, 2016 Ok! Chapter 7 is finally finished and uploaded! Also, I have a new name for chapter 8, which I will be starting on as soon as possible! "Chapter 8, a broken world." The link to the chapters is here (remember, you can download the PDF straight of the site if you dont want to read it in the awkward net viewer.) We have now passed 40k words and with afterwords etc its 120 pages at the moment! Thanks for reading, stay tuned for the last chapter, coming soon! mitchhamilton, VirginSmasher, Arcadeotic and 1 other 4 Quote
Dergonu Posted February 27, 2016 Author Posted February 27, 2016 The book is finished! I just finished writing and uploading chapter 8 + the epilogue! Thanks so much to those who helped me make this book a reality, it's been an awesome ride! Do keep in mind that it stil hasn't been edited, though the book itself is finished and I wanted to get it out as soon as possible! Suzu Fanatic 1 Quote
AaronIsCrunchy Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 So I just spent most of the evening reading this, and I figured I'd give you my thoughts! The first thing I'll say is probably the most obvious thing: the growing relationship between Kitsune and Sakura is pretty damn adorable. Some of the descriptions of Sakura's interactions with her make me feel really fuzzy, so that's a big +1 The pacing was, surprisingly, rather good. I say surprisingly as in a lot of 'amateur' stories (for lack of better wording) things move forward at a breakneck speed in some parts, and the gravity of a situation can be lost. Yours is largely good though! I think a little more 'padding' (not the right word, but you know) might not be a bad thing towards the end as the bulk of the action happens, but aside from that good stuff. My biggest complaint is probably why Kitsune is called Kitsune. It's okay for most of it, but in the scenes where she is among her own people, having 'kitsune' (as in the species) and Kitsune (as in the adorable foxgirl character) in the same sentence can get somewhat confusing. It's not a dealbreaker, but it does throw me off a bit sometimes. I know you said it hasn't been edited yet so I won't make too big a deal out of it, but it does need cleaning up. I volunteer my services if you so wish? I don't have too much going on now for the next 5 months or so, so I could do with something to do Spoiler That ending why the fuck would you do that I thought they were going to have beautiful cute yuri times forever fendaslfsf;ji s;isfs;fcjzcjk\cjzkldczkljbc\kjlbdv\b;kljv But yeah, it's piqued my interest for part 2. One of them had best not die. Overall rating is about 7/10 I'd say. Would read and begrudge my lack of fan art ability again. Nice one Dergonu and Forgetful Frank 2 Quote
Dergonu Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 12 hours ago, AaronIsCrunchy said: So I just spent most of the evening reading this, and I figured I'd give you my thoughts! The first thing I'll say is probably the most obvious thing: the growing relationship between Kitsune and Sakura is pretty damn adorable. Some of the descriptions of Sakura's interactions with her make me feel really fuzzy, so that's a big +1 The pacing was, surprisingly, rather good. I say surprisingly as in a lot of 'amateur' stories (for lack of better wording) things move forward at a breakneck speed in some parts, and the gravity of a situation can be lost. Yours is largely good though! I think a little more 'padding' (not the right word, but you know) might not be a bad thing towards the end as the bulk of the action happens, but aside from that good stuff. My biggest complaint is probably why Kitsune is called Kitsune. It's okay for most of it, but in the scenes where she is among her own people, having 'kitsune' (as in the species) and Kitsune (as in the adorable foxgirl character) in the same sentence can get somewhat confusing. It's not a dealbreaker, but it does throw me off a bit sometimes. I know you said it hasn't been edited yet so I won't make too big a deal out of it, but it does need cleaning up. I volunteer my services if you so wish? I don't have too much going on now for the next 5 months or so, so I could do with something to do Reveal hidden contents That ending why the fuck would you do that I thought they were going to have beautiful cute yuri times forever fendaslfsf;ji s;isfs;fcjzcjk\cjzkldczkljbc\kjlbdv\b;kljv But yeah, it's piqued my interest for part 2. One of them had best not die. Overall rating is about 7/10 I'd say. Would read and begrudge my lack of fan art ability again. Nice one Thanks for the feedback! Really great to hear that you enjoyed it I am in the process of writing vol.2, and will make a thread on the forum soon, once a little more has been finished. So stay tuned for that! I was concerned about how the interactions in the story would be when both Kitsune and her people were being discussed. I will try to find a way to make this easier to understand. Forgetful Frank is currently editing the book, but if he needs some help, or if I start getting vol.2 released in not too long, I will gladly take you up on your offer. I will definietly send you a PM if I/ when I need help! AaronIsCrunchy and Forgetful Frank 2 Quote
Forgetful Frank Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'm actually almost finished proofreading and editing, and it should be done in a week or two! Then all Dergonu has to do is look through it himself and if all is well, he can upload it in the coming weeks. It's awesome seeing that another fellow Fuwa-user willing to offer their services to projects, good on you @AaronIsCrunchy! If Dergonu starts to release Vol.2 within the next 5 months while you're still free, I'd say definitely take up Dergonu's offer on helping him out with that. After I'm finished editing Vol.1, I plan on focusing on my own light novel that I've written some rough ideas about over the last few months, but not started yet because I want to finish editing Vol.1 in its entirety first. It's thanks to reading and editing Dergonu's that's inspired me to write my own. AaronIsCrunchy and Dergonu 2 Quote
Firemonk Posted November 15, 2016 Posted November 15, 2016 Not bad... I suck at doing anything related to art so......Imma just stick with programming.... Dergonu 1 Quote
Coffee Posted January 16, 2017 Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) ' Edited February 19, 2022 by ybnrmalatall Quote
Dergonu Posted January 16, 2017 Author Posted January 16, 2017 2 hours ago, ybnrmalatall said: No Epub? No thanks Ok then, cya around. Quote
Akimoto Masato Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 I want the next one as soon as possible... Dergonu 1 Quote
Dergonu Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 5 minutes ago, Akimoto Masato said: I want the next one as soon as possible... I do have 2 chapters finished so far, (can find them here if you haven't checked them out yet,) but because of university suddenly happening, I have been very busy recently. I really want to get back into writing, and will try my best to get a new chapter out as soon as I can. I intend on finishing this for sure. Thanks for the interest in the books, that means a lot to me. Follow the thread for the second book to find out right as a chapter gets released, as I'll post a comment there once I finish the next chapter. Actually going to post an update there now, as I really should have done a while ago. Akimoto Masato 1 Quote
RedK Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Is this All ages or does it have sex scenes? Quote
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