Translation Accuracy

[NeroDragon12]

So I just started translating this game http://vndb.org/v13470 and I wanted to check how accurate my translation was, because I only just started learning Japanese last year so at best I have to rely on chiitrans for some things, so I was hoping to see how good I was doing so far from someone proficient in Japanese.

 

 

Here's the scripts:

@name chara="将　夫"

「うわぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ～、すごい。[r]
　まるで宮殿みたいだぁ」

@name chara="Masao"
「 Uwaaaaaaaaaa～,Amazing.[r]
　It's almost like a palace.」

 

@name chara="地"

　思わず感嘆の声が溢れる。[r]
　無論、ボクは本物の宮殿など見たことがない。[r]
　全てはテレビなどで見た光景だ。

@name chara="地"
　A sound of admiration overflowed from me.[r]
　Of course,I have never seen a palace before.[r]
　Except for what I've watched on TV.

 

@name chara="地"

　それが今、目の前に広がっている。[r]
　今までボクが住んでいた世界とは全く別の世界に迷い込んでしまった感覚であった。

@name chara="地"
　That now,is spreading before my eyes.[r]
　It was a feeling that I accidentally wandered into a world completely different from the world that I lived in.

 

 

Edit:I changed it to the ones I had trouble with.

[Mephisto]

Would it be possible to provide the script with a japanese line on top, and the english line under it? It's in a bit of a difficult state to read at the moment.

[Mephisto]

「うわぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ～、すごい。[r]
　まるで宮殿みたいだぁ」

@name chara="Masao"
「 Uwaaaaaaaaaa～,Amazing.[r]
　It looks just like a castle.」

 

思わず感嘆の声が溢れる。[r]
　無論、ボクは本物の宮殿など見たことがない。[r]
　全てはテレビなどで見た光景

 

I unintentionally let out a sigh of admiration.

Naturally, I have never seen a real castle before.

I thought they were the things you could only see on T.V

 

それが今、目の前に広がっている。[r]
　今までボクが住んでいた世界とは全く別の世界に迷い込んでしまった感覚であった。

 

And yet right now, here one is spread out right before my eyes.

It makes me feel as if I had lost my way and wandered in to a totally new world than the world I lived in up to this point.

[NeroDragon12]

Thanks for that I kind got an understanding of what I'll need to improve now hopefully translating this will help me improve my Japanese.

[RusAnon]

「うわぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ～、すごい。[r]

　まるで宮殿みたいだぁ」

@name chara="Masao"

「 Uwaaaaaaaaaa～,Amazing.[r]

　It looks just like a castle.」

 

宮殿 is definitely "palace" rather than castle. It is used for residence of royalty, not as fortification type.

[Mephisto]

宮殿 is definitely "palace" rather than castle. It is used for residence of royalty, not as fortification type.

right sorry, I don't even know why I put castle when I was thinking palace. (didn't even notice I put castle actually o_O)