What's your opinion about this OP?

[laiktail]

Hey all, 

I have a really rough uncompleted draft for an OP that I'm making. But, I'd love to know what you think of the basic sound of it and what do you think should be changed?

 

The timing is a bit wrong for the melody (to be sung but currently is "sung" by brass), so don't worry about that. 

 

https://soundcloud.com/temporaneous/1-op-draft-no-2

[Nagisa_Fawkes]

The melody is nice. Good choice of the piano. Though in my opinion (and it's just my amateur opinion, don't take it seriously) that melody is more suited for a Slice of Life. The VN you're making is fantasy, right?

[laiktail]

The melody is nice. Good choice of the piano. Though in my opinion (and it's just my amateur opinion, don't take it seriously) that melody is more suited for a Slice of Life. The VN you're making is fantasy, right?

 

Hmmm, good point. The VN I'm making is closest to fantasy/romcom, but it's not actually fantasy adventure (since no-one really goes anywhere outside of the city they're in). 

[SanadaShadow]

The start is a bit... fast, I think. I mean, the very beginning. As in, between 0:00 and 0:01. At 0:46, the trumpet and piano kind of clash. The part at 1:00 is PERFECT. At 1:15, trumpet-piano clash begins again. 1:26-1:47 is, yet again, PERFECT. The whole song would be way better if played in harmony like that. And then the trumpet-piano war stats up again until 2:10. After that, the trumpet and drums kind of overpower the piano, and it sounds relatively good.

 

The overall song is good, but you should put one of the two instruments at a more quiet output so that it doesn't feel like a clash. Also, fix the beginning so that there's a one-second delay before the song begins. Otherwise you're good.

 

Sorry for being so critical.

[laiktail]

The start is a bit... fast, I think. I mean, the very beginning. As in, between 0:00 and 0:01. At 0:46, the trumpet and piano kind of clash. The part at 1:00 is PERFECT. At 1:15, trumpet-piano clash begins again. 1:26-1:47 is, yet again, PERFECT. The whole song would be way better if played in harmony like that. And then the trumpet-piano war stats up again until 2:10. After that, the trumpet and drums kind of overpower the piano, and it sounds relatively good.

 

The overall song is good, but you should put one of the two instruments at a more quiet output so that it doesn't feel like a clash. Also, fix the beginning so that there's a one-second delay before the song begins. Otherwise you're good.

 

Sorry for being so critical.

 

Critical is great! Thanks, I really appreciate your honesty. Oops about 0:00-0:01, that's purely an uploading error. 

 

I'm definitely gonna pay more attention to the quiet output, thanks for that! 

 

As for the trumpet piano war - the trumpet is actually going to be replaced by the female voice of my friend who's singing the song. So I'm really not too sure whether the clash will still exist or not. 

 

But I really like the sort of idea of less instruments rather than more as you've pointed out.

 

 

[SanadaShadow]

I dabbled in making music a bit when I was trying to create a 2D sidescrolling puzzle game. Needless to say it failed in the strategy, since it was so complicated most people would rather play Klonoa Dream Champion (Man, that game was horrible).

[laiktail]

I loved the original Klonoa games! 

[SanadaShadow]

Well, yes, so did I. Dream Champion was horrible, though. What I loved about the original Klonoa was the fact that time was not a pressure. In Klonoa: Dream Champion, TIMING WAS 90% OF THE BATTLE while in Klonoa 1 the timing was just for specific elements. I never liked Chrono Trigger's gameplay, or Tears To Tiara's gameplay either. Anyways, back to the point, when your friend sings the part of the trumpet, send me a copy. I can be a critical little bitch when I need to be, but this is honestly great composition.

[MDruidd]

Maybe, I shouldn't be here. 

I think it would be better if playing solo piano

 

to be honest, I don't particularly like the trumpet 

even better if you are using an acoustic guitar., 

 

but pretty good for me, pleasing to listening.

feels comfortable and enjoying with slow bit

[SanadaShadow]

Well, she said the trumpet would be replaced by singing, so.

[MDruidd]

Well, she said the trumpet would be replaced by singing, so.

is that so?

that's good

if it could be added acoustic guitar.

 

sorry, i'm not read all of the post

hahaha

[SanadaShadow]

Well, depending on how it's used, it could make or break the music. As long as it doesn't clash, it's good.

Of course, choreographed clashes can also sound good at times.

[MDruidd]

Well, depending on how it's used, it could make or break the music. As long as it doesn't clash, it's good.

Of course, choreographed clashes can also sound good at times.

it's true, but I'm not really know about the choreography and the music-making.

only the opinion of a listener who enjoys music

can be said an amateur

[SanadaShadow]

Grammar clashes with knowledge and becomes illegible.

[MDruidd]

Grammar clashes with knowledge and becomes illegible.

is that so?

ahaha

[SanadaShadow]

Anyways, if you're looking for some OST, I can give you some basic -Mind you, it's VERY basic- music pieces from my neglected YouTube channel. Would you be okay with at least viewing the tracks?

[laiktail]

I'm a he, not a she! LOL 

Hmmm I'll most likely be using my own compositions for OST (either that or maybe getting someone who's quite well known on the project). Thanks for the offer! But if you meant you'd like me to take a look, yeah sure thing!

[MDruidd]

Anyways, if you're looking for some OST, I can give you some basic -Mind you, it's VERY basic- music pieces from my neglected YouTube channel. Would you be okay with at least viewing the tracks?

no....no, i don't want it.

I just enjoy about listening to a music.

I don't want more than that

 

 

I'm a he, not a she! LOL 

Hmmm I'll most likely be using my own compositions for OST (either that or maybe getting someone who's quite well known on the project). Thanks for the offer! But if you meant you'd like me to take a look, yeah sure thing!

ahaha, IDK because in your profile is hidden

I waited for the song to be, please update the link if it already exists

[SanadaShadow]

I'm a he, not a she! LOL 

Hmmm I'll most likely be using my own compositions for OST (either that or maybe getting someone who's quite well known on the project). Thanks for the offer! But if you meant you'd like me to take a look, yeah sure thing!

 

Well, I'm actually a bit embarrassed about my entire life's only published handiwork being four basic music videos. No use letting that go to waste. Hope you get at least some help with these.

So I'll just link them. Be careful about the noise volume, I have my output at 20% volume and the YT output at half but it still hurts my ears. HOW CAN A TRACK SO BAD HAVE SUCH GOOD QUALITY?!

This one's just... Meh. I wasn't even trying.

This one has the most views, despite being second best.

And I guess this one is somewhat okay. If you like Dubstep. Although I messed up with the voices and sax, I guess.

[arakura]

I actually really like this. I'd say the trumpet is a little caustic at points, but if that were to be singing like you said, then I would be so sold on this OP. I'll give it a few more listens and take it a apart a little for the sake of improvement, but I really approve of this. Could work for fantasy, I think, but it's definitely pretty upbeat and fairly light. Something feels a little weird at 1:08-1:10 ish. Kind of feels like a weird transition to me. At least it stuck out, but not necessarily in a horrible way. Amazing and would love to hear the final product

[laiktail]

Well, I'm actually a bit embarrassed about my entire life's only published handiwork being four basic music videos. No use letting that go to waste. Hope you get at least some help with these.

So I'll just link them. Be careful about the noise volume, I have my output at 20% volume and the YT output at half but it still hurts my ears. HOW CAN A TRACK SO BAD HAVE SUCH GOOD QUALITY?!

This one's just... Meh. I wasn't even trying.

This one has the most views, despite being second best.

And I guess this one is somewhat okay. If you like Dubstep. Although I messed up with the voices and sax, I guess.

 

I actually liked Speed Jazz the most, too. The other pieces weren't that bad! The speed jazz one would be the most likely one to end up on my iPod out of all of them. The comics are...interesting.  

 

I actually really like this. I'd say the trumpet is a little caustic at points, but if that were to be singing like you said, then I would be so sold on this OP. I'll give it a few more listens and take it a apart a little for the sake of improvement, but I really approve of this. Could work for fantasy, I think, but it's definitely pretty upbeat and fairly light. Something feels a little weird at 1:08-1:10 ish. Kind of feels like a weird transition to me. At least it stuck out, but not necessarily in a horrible way. Amazing and would love to hear the final product

 

Thanks for the compliments!! hmm i was listening to it at 1:08-1:10 to try and figure out what you mean by the weird transition. You're right, I think the timing's off there. The piano chords as well might not have been as clean because I pressed some extra notes. Deliberately, the drums are "pushing" with a lot of swing that's (actually deliberately) a bit off the beat. All that combined with a big jump combined to make it sound kinda weird. 

I'll let you know when the final OP is out!  

[SanadaShadow]

I actually liked Speed Jazz the most, too. The other pieces weren't that bad! The speed jazz one would be the most likely one to end up on my iPod out of all of them. The comics are...interesting.

 

I try to be entertaining, although I still do not know how to transition between pictures in a video. Coincidentally, what was it you liked about it? I might ba able to kickstart the channel again if I can get some feedback and adjust methods appropriately.

[DawnWolf]

I'm not a music major or anything, hell I didn't even take any music classes in high school, but if you want my opinion, it isn't bad, but certain parts don't mesh. For example 0:48-1:00. I get what you were trying to do with the piano and the brass, but when they're both played to that noise volume it almost sounds like the two are competing for attention, ergo it makes it sound like a big blob of noise. Personally I think you should either emphasize the focus on the piano during this part, or take it out completely (which sucks, cause I love pianos). If I recall the same sequence of sound is used somewhere near the end of the song as well.

[Tenkuru]

It's pretty good for an rough and uncompleted draft to me. The general melody is really pleasing to the hear and I really like it. However, as DawnWolf mentioned, some parts didn't go well with each other. Instead of complimenting each other, the different instruments seems like they're trying to overpower one another at times. I'm not a fan of that, as it sounds more like chaotic noise rather than music. Well, I'm not really good at judging music, so don't take my "advice" too seriously as I may be completely off. 

[laiktail]

I try to be entertaining, although I still do not know how to transition between pictures in a video. Coincidentally, what was it you liked about it? I might ba able to kickstart the channel again if I can get some feedback and adjust methods appropriately.

 

I think the style more than anything else. I do like Jazz more than dubstep type stuff. There's probably an audience for both.

 

I'm not a music major or anything, hell I didn't even take any music classes in high school, but if you want my opinion, it isn't bad, but certain parts don't mesh. For example 0:48-1:00. I get what you were trying to do with the piano and the brass, but when they're both played to that noise volume it almost sounds like the two are competing for attention, ergo it makes it sound like a big blob of noise. Personally I think you should either emphasize the focus on the piano during this part, or take it out completely (which sucks, cause I love pianos). If I recall the same sequence of sound is used somewhere near the end of the song as well.

 

 

It's pretty good for an rough and uncompleted draft to me. The general melody is really pleasing to the hear and I really like it. However, as DawnWolf mentioned, some parts didn't go well with each other. Instead of complimenting each other, the different instruments seems like they're trying to overpower one another at times. I'm not a fan of that, as it sounds more like chaotic noise rather than music. Well, I'm not really good at judging music, so don't take my "advice" too seriously as I may be completely off. 

Thank you both for the feedback I agree with the noisiness of the whole thing. It's a little too much all at once at parts, like you say. Although the trumpet is a voice, even when it's sung, things might still clash. I'll make a lot of adjustments based on your advice and be very conscious of it. Thanks again!!