Fuwanovel Confessions

[Kenshin_sama]

11 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Confession : i feel better.

I said a lot of times here that i don't feel bad, that i may need some help and alll...i think now that i feel better, like really, i have finally accepted myself, and can now fully live my life.

Thanks guys, i know i was annoying, and prolly am still annoying, i am aware of that, and i'm working on that really hard, i just hope i can still get along with everyone, even with all my fuck ups, because in the end, i'm just a poor boy who wants to get along with everyone. 

That's great, I'm happy to hear that! I've been in a surprisingly great mood myself today, which is both rare and somewhat off-putting, but pleasant nonetheless.

And don't beat yourself up too hard; you're not nearly as annoying as you think you are. In fact, you're really not annoying at all.
And if you ever feel the need to post about your frustrations, just know you have my blessing. Seriously, it's actually pretty therapeutic in a way.

8 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Yep, as one said : my biggest foe is thyself.

Yeah, that's been the key focus of my anxiety therapy. You can do as much as you can with your body's chemistry to minimize anxiety levels, but your mind is still the primary barrier to improving psychologically. The one thing I've observed from every therapist I've worked with is the push to combat negative thinking, which hasn't always been easy for me. When you've been brought up in a difficult family and raised to doubt every single one of your actions, it's hard to just turn that upside down and combat them with positive thinking.

But see, I think I might've finally made something of a breakthrough. So after countless failed attempts to cope with the many difficulties I've been having to deal with lately, my therapist came up with a solution that I think I can work reasonably well with. Up until now, we've mostly been discussing my lifestyle and what I can do to make it more structured so that I can get a better handle on stress, but that has been completely impossible for me due to a certain lack of resources, my grandma being impossible to reason with, and my severe lack of ambition. So instead of helping me to plan for things that I can only make work in an ideal situation, she decided to shift that focus to my mentality when coping.

In the middle of our last session, I went into a little more depth on what my thoughts are during times of stress, and from those talks, we both came to the conclusion that I'm way too hard on myself. This is due in part to the amount of pressure I've had put on me by my father, and pushed to extremes during while I was in the Army. Whenever I make any kind of mistake, or something doesn't go as intended, I have it in my head that I am a miserable failure who will never be able to function well in society. When I get into that kind of state, it's difficult to just tell myself to "think positively" as my previous therapists have suggested to me. But here's the thing, that message is far too broad for me to use effectively, and I just can't bring myself to reason with my emotions since I can't pinpoint the thought I need during a moment of panic. Well, thanks to my therapist, I've been mulling over my anxieties and trying to come up with something specific I can use before things start to heat up, and I think I managed to come up with something! At first, I was taking a swing with "I'm doing the best I can" that my therapist provided to me as a something to center my thoughts on, but I found something that better resonates with me. Now, whenever I start to get hung up over my failures, I tell myself "I'm better today than I was yesterday" (not to be taken literally). That thought helps bring to focus all the things I've been able to accomplish and how they outweigh all the bad stuff. Not to say I couldn't have used those thoughts before, but it was difficult to get myself in that frame of mind without a proper trigger. And now that I've found my trigger phrase, I feel I can finally make reasonable progress towards a better coping system.

Granted, I still haven't achieved an ideal system just yet, but I do think I've at least made some headway for getting myself out of this cycle.

[Plk_Lesiak]

Confession: I've just finished writing a 5k words paper on VN fan translations, follow up to the conference I was posting about a few months ago. I still have to check it up once more and do some dumb paperwork before I can submit it, so I'll be done around 2 am and I'm already a day behind the deadline, hoping they don't care enough to reject it because of that.

So, kids, try to avoid mixing hobbies and work too much. I really love VNs, but I also kind of hate them right now... 

Edited July 16, 2018 by Plk_Lesiak

[Ranzo]

Confession: You know I really want someone to say "He or she has done so much for me, they have helped me so much over these past long years. They've been by my side through the good times, as well as the bad times. They've helped me become a better lover and most of all a better person. So, now I'm going to do everything in my power to fuck up their life completely. That is what I call gratitude."

 

Is that weird of me? I dunno.

[tymmur]

1 hour ago, Ranzo said:

Confession: You know I really want someone to say "He or she has done so much for me, they have helped me so much over these past long years. They've been by my side through the good times, as well as the bad times. They've helped me become a better lover and most of all a better person. So, now I'm going to do everything in my power to fuck up their life completely. That is what I call gratitude."

 

Is that weird of me? I dunno.

You should really treat your mother better

[Ranzo]

1 minute ago, tymmur said:

You should really treat your mother better

She laughed right along with me

[Funyarinpa]

wanted to buy a DSi XL (for cheap, like 50 bucks) but my mom got angry at me for even considering it

-my school's gonna be extremely expensive so I should be using my money for my needs
-I had a 3DS already which I already gave to my sister (yes bc I hated using it, it was slow and hurt my hand)
-will I even have time while in school

All excellent points but I still really, really want one to pirate DS games on. Got my hand on one in a brick and mortar store and it's heavenly to hold.

[Kenshin_sama]

7 hours ago, Funyarinpa said:

wanted to buy a DSi XL (for cheap, like 50 bucks) but my mom got angry at me for even considering it

-my school's gonna be extremely expensive so I should be using my money for my needs
-I had a 3DS already which I already gave to my sister (yes bc I hated using it, it was slow and hurt my hand)
-will I even have time while in school

All excellent points but I still really, really want one to pirate DS games on. Got my hand on one in a brick and mortar store and it's heavenly to hold.

Go pirate a bunch of 5th/6th gen console games and emulate them on PC instead? That's a good way to fill in your free time (assuming you get any).

Btw, I found a really neat article with useful TED Talk videos for college students. Most of the ideas featured here are pretty great (especially the procrastination vid)!
https://www.student.com/articles/11-ted-talks-students-must-watch/

[Funyarinpa]

13 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

Go pirate a bunch of 5th/6th gen console games and emulate them on PC instead? That's a good way to fill in your free time (assuming you get any).

Btw, I found a really neat article with useful TED Talk videos for college students. Most of the ideas featured here are pretty great (especially the procrastination vid)!
https://www.student.com/articles/11-ted-talks-students-must-watch/

Ty Ty! 

Well I can emulate them on PC but I love handhelds already and I want to play DS games on a platform they were intended to play. 

[Kenshin_sama]

10 hours ago, Funyarinpa said:

Well I can emulate them on PC but I love handhelds already and I want to play DS games on a platform they were intended to play. 

Oh no, I was talking about oldschool consoles. Emulating DS games is probably a terrible idea.

[Ranzo]

Confession: I've found myself in a relationship again and it is with a friend I've known for about two years. I've had a on again off again crush on her and I found out that she had similar feelings for me about half a year ago. I finally decided to stop leading her on several days ago. It is a weird feeling to be with someone again. I'm not sure how long I'd like it to last because I am filled with wanderlust and if I do live abroad I'm not interested in ties that would bind me here.

She's not my ideal but I am fond of her. I'll shoot for a year and see how it goes.

[Funyarinpa]

3 hours ago, Ranzo said:

Confession: I've found myself in a relationship again and it is with a friend I've known for about two years. I've had a on again off again crush on her and I found out that she had similar feelings for me about half a year ago. I finally decided to stop leading her on several days ago. It is a weird feeling to be with someone again. I'm not sure how long I'd like it to last because I am filled with wanderlust and if I do live abroad I'm not interested in ties that would bind me here.

She's not my ideal but I am fond of her. I'll shoot for a year and see how it goes.

I feel kinda bad for your girlfriend tbh, it sounds to me like you don't really want this at all. Is she aware of how you feel about this?

[Kurisu-Chan]

On 21/07/2018 at 5:08 PM, Funyarinpa said:

wanted to buy a DSi XL (for cheap, like 50 bucks) but my mom got angry at me for even considering it

-my school's gonna be extremely expensive so I should be using my money for my needs
-I had a 3DS already which I already gave to my sister (yes bc I hated using it, it was slow and hurt my hand)
-will I even have time while in school

All excellent points but I still really, really want one to pirate DS games on. Got my hand on one in a brick and mortar store and it's heavenly to hold.

As a big gamer and not a bad university student, i can tell you that yes, university will give you the time to do a lot of stuff.

[Dreamysyu]

1 hour ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

i can tell you that yes, university will give you the time to do a lot of stuff.

Depends on a university and your ability to manage time. Back at my first university year I literally didn't have any free time at all.

[Kurisu-Chan]

1 hour ago, Dreamysyu said:

Depends on a university and your ability to manage time. Back at my first university year I literally didn't have any free time at all.

It vary if you are in a university or an elite school, obviously.
Depends also if you do a bach/masters degree or you go straight towards engineering.

And of course your ability to manage time. ww 

[Sayaka]

5 hours ago, Funyarinpa said:

I feel kinda bad for your girlfriend tbh, it sounds to me like you don't really want this at all. Is she aware of how you feel about this?

I second this.

9 hours ago, Ranzo said:

I'm not sure how long I'd like it to last...I'm not interested in ties that would bind me here.

She's not my ideal but I am fond of her. I'll shoot for a year and see how it goes.

You're making her sound like a test case. If you don't want it to last, you emphasise that she's not your ideal, and you're "shooting for a year", then far from no longer leading her on, you're doing quite the opposite. Like Funyarinpa said, is she aware of how you feel about this?

Edited July 23, 2018 by Sayaka

[Yuuko]

4 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

As a big gamer and not a bad university student, i can tell you that yes, university will give you the time to do a lot of stuff.

Too busy being drunk

[Kurisu-Chan]

35 minutes ago, Kiriririri said:

Too busy being drunk

that, too. w

[Ranzo]

1 hour ago, Sayaka said:

I second this.

You're making her sound like a test case. If you don't want it to last, you emphasise that she's not your ideal, and you're "shooting for a year", then far from no longer leading her on, you're doing quite the opposite. Like Funyarinpa said, is she aware of how you feel about this?

I guess I should have mentioned why I was interested in her in the first case which is that I find her attractive and we have a lot of common interests and feelings. I did say shooting for a year but for me that's quite a lot because I've not been in a relationship that has lasted that long. While I did say she's not my ideal I said that while not knowing what my ideal is even supposed to look like. But yeah I have been upfront about my doubts

Edited July 23, 2018 by Ranzo

[atorq]

6 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Depends also if you do a bach/masters degree or you go straight towards engineering.

What?

 

6 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

And of course your ability to manage time. ww 

This mostly, I didn't feel like I had all that much free time when I was studying, because I find assignments that have to be completed outside lecture hours very stressful. I get a lot more done when I'm working full time.

[r0xm2n]

Confession: Research for upgrading a PC takes time. Though I've narrowed it down to two contenders for most parts. Except the motherboards....

[tymmur]

7 hours ago, r0xm2n said:

Confession: Research for upgrading a PC takes time. Though I've narrowed it down to two contenders for most parts. Except the motherboards....

Easy solution: buy both and build two computers. Who cares about money if you can end up playing two VNs at once. That must be twice the fun, right?

[Kenshin_sama]

9 hours ago, r0xm2n said:

Confession: Research for upgrading a PC takes time. Though I've narrowed it down to two contenders for most parts. Except the motherboards....

Ya know the MB is supposed to be the 2nd thing you pick, lol. Pick your processor first, choose an MB that works with it, find a compatible case with good airflow, and then grab the components that are compatible with your MB.

Also, this site is nice for building a PC. https://pcpartpicker.com/
It can help to avoid compatibility mistakes and even gives you a price total estimate for all the parts you want. I highly recommend registering an account here too since you maintain a list of the parts you bought for reference later on (which'll probably be nice to have for future upgrades).

[tymmur]

32 minutes ago, Kenshin_sama said:

find a compatible case with good airflow

Cooling seems to be very overlooked compared to how important it is. It doesn't matter if you have a 3 or 4 GHz CPU if your cooling won't allow it to go faster than 2 GHz. You want a case where the entire front can be covered with fans, ideally at least 120 mm. The bigger the better because not only will bigger ones move more air, they are also less noisy while doing so. You also need to avoid the stock CPU cooler since it's noisy and not cooling very well. The 212 EVO is popular because it's arguably the best CPU cooling without going into the high cost CPU coolers.

You need a proper power supply. The price difference between high end and cheap ones is minor compared to the entire build and a noname power supply comes with the risk of over voltage, which can toast every single part in the computer. Do not plan to use more than 70% of max load when all components use max power. It's a bad idea to push a power supply to the limit because it shortens the lifetime and reduces efficiency. Also the numbers usually apply to 20°C and computers are usually hotter than that. I would recommend Corsair both because of quality and because the warranty lasts 10 years, meaning you can easily end up using it in multiple computers within the expected lifetime of the power supply.

If you build your own computer, this is what you should focus on because this is where home build computers really stand out from pre assembled computers. Nobody advertise on "better cooling" or "higher grade capacitors in power supply", meaning they cut corners here. In fact we can suspect they want to run computers so hot that it shortens the lifetime because selling computers, which won't die within 10 years is not a way to increase sales.

Picks for CPU, GPU and RAM really depends on what you plan to do. If your main goal is gaming, you should go for fast CPU cores rather than many because most games are not good at spreading the workload between multiple CPU cores and will be throttled by how much a single core can do while keeping the others mostly idle. It also depends on the game if you should invest more in CPU or GPU. Which RAM to pick and how much it affects you is a really complex topic and it highly depend on what you plan to do.

Keep in mind that regarding RAM and CPU, more expensive doesn't always mean better. There are expensive components, which are optimized for tasks like databases and will actually perform worse in games than some cheaper alternatives.

[Yuuko]

omegalul if your pc has more than 1 fan

[Kenshin_sama]

26 minutes ago, tymmur said:

Cooling seems to be very overlooked compared to how important it is. It doesn't matter if you have a 3 or 4 GHz CPU if your cooling won't allow it to go faster than 2 GHz. You want a case where the entire front can be covered with fans, ideally at least 120 mm. The bigger the better because not only will bigger ones move more air, they are also less noisy while doing so. You also need to avoid the stock CPU cooler since it's noisy and not cooling very well. The 212 EVO is popular because it's arguably the best CPU cooling without going into the high cost CPU coolers.

It's funny you should mention the 212 EVO, cuz that's exactly what I have installed. And I agree, it's pretty sexy. https://pcpartpicker.com/user/Ahlor/saved/

I know there are more factors to look into with the case other than just airflow, but I kinda assumed that any case that prioritized that would already have the slots needed to install more fans. I suppose I could be wrong, though.

34 minutes ago, tymmur said:

I would recommend Corsair both because of quality and because the warranty lasts 10 years, meaning you can easily end up using it in multiple computers within the expected lifetime of the power supply.

Wtf, did you hack my list or something!?

41 minutes ago, tymmur said:

Keep in mind that regarding RAM and CPU, more expensive doesn't always mean better. There are expensive components, which are optimized for tasks like databases and will actually perform worse in games than some cheaper alternatives.

I did prioritize spending on GPU over CPU, mostly because my research lead me to believe that the former has more impact on gaming than the latter. I kinda confirmed as much when I tested the build out while playing The Witcher 3, and found that the game relied very heavily on my GPU, but moderately on my GPU.

As for RAM, I don't remember why I went with my choice, but it doesn't feel like I spent too much. The lowest my MB can take is DDR4-2133, and what I bought was 2400. I'm, like, 50% sure I got my ram on sale, which may explain why I went with that over 2133. At least I didn't go with the fastest it can take. Although lately it feels like I need to double the amount of RAM I have since browsers are so heavy on it nowadays.