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Posted
4 hours ago, Funyarinpa said:

Dude just pray she didn't actually like and play through it

You'd get fucking DISOWNED when she reaches the first h-scene lmao

 

...

(Possibly long whine incoming)

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I just don't want to care anymore.

How wonderful it'd be if I was just fine with giving no fucks about academics. going to some shitty university in Turkey, and ending life after retiring from a few decades of cubicle work.

Basically I'm at the end of my midterms, where my eligibility for a few Advanced Placement courses I could possibly take next year was to be determined. Physics exam results just came in and there's not a single AP course I can enroll in. There were only three exams I'd been feeling confident about and I got less than what I was going for in all of them (Turkish, English and Biology) though all of them are normally good (Turkish 87, Biology and English 96 out of 110, where it's recorded as 87/100 and 96/100 respectively and the extra marks go into other grades). The rest is just shit. Ironically enough, the two exams I'd consider myself successful in are two subjects I hate, Turkish Literature and History (Turk. Lit is 72, highest TLit mark yet, and History is 85 which is also my highest mark in History this year).

Not a single bit of success I really care about (except having the third best English grade for the term, was aiming for a perfect 100, heh), and it doesn't help that I've realized I'm in the bottom 30 of my term in terms of grades. It's *veeery* motivating when you know you're going to the same school with quite a few jocks who just monkey around and do nothing else. I don't even know if I should be going STEM anymore, doesn't feel like I'd be able to do it. I'd try for being an author instead, but the thing is I'm nowhere near witty or creative enough for my works to sell (not to mention that my prose would probably be jacked since I want to write in English and there's a LOOOT of native English speaking authors out there). 

Registered for an optional third math exam, but I needed to have my math oral grades increased too and apparently today's the deadline for that so it's pretty pointless for me to take the exam now. Tutor coming today is similarly pointless.

I detest myself for being so pathetic despite practically everyone else worth comparing myself to giving it their all out there, despite being in far more exhausting, tough, uncomfortable, sad, lonely conditions. There are people out there fighting for their education, fighting for their right to choose their profession, people without a complete, caring family giving it their all, and here I am, fucking the most elementary of stuff up when I have everything else I could ever ask for.

I don't want to care anymore, man. Caring about it just hurts and I just don't fix it myself anyway.

I'd legitimately consider suicide if I could only study in a Turkish university, but the thing is I happen to have family and friends and my self-hatred hasn't surpassed my love for them yet.

 

If i remember correctly you are still very young, you got your whole life ahead of you dude, even if the worst thing happen (that is to study in turkey) it won't be the end of the world and better things will come out eventually, just hang in there. Life can be fucking relentless sometimes and when you think that things cannot get worst...they do but no matter what you need to keep going and don't give up no matter what, you will get your reward someday for all your hard work. 

Posted

Confession: My Amazon order for New Year's gifts came in and the case of Fire Of Unknown Origin (a Blue Oyster Cult album I couldn't find ANYWHERE else) is cracked. Damn. :(

That said, I also finally got Battle Royale Remastered! BR is my favorite book so finally HAVING it in English is a wonderful feeling.

Posted

I didn't think so many would have read 50 shades here. But I guess porny games and porny books go hand in hand.

 

4 hours ago, Funyarinpa said:

 

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While it certainly is nice to not care it's not all that nice to not really have any goals or aspirations in life. I really wonder what it is like to truly feel the importance of education and have something to want to do with one's life

Posted
51 minutes ago, Funyarinpa said:

Confession: My Amazon order for New Year's gifts came in and the case of Fire Of Unknown Origin (a Blue Oyster Cult album I couldn't find ANYWHERE else) is cracked. Damn. :(

Amazon has a pretty good return policy, you should take a look. 

Posted

I had another strange dream today. So I think I broke something and for whatever reason, I needed to go somewhere to fix it. My brother was driving us to someplace and I was reading this book that had something to do with someone's life story or something, and apparently there were Instructions for how to fix a hydrogen peroxide bottle... which I guess I needed to fix... So we get to this place, which I assume to be a gas station, and my bro has to do some stuff, so we say our goodbyes and I pull out the peroxide bottle and... That's it... Nothing else...

 

Again. My dreams make no sense.

Posted

Confession: I've been meaning to do a one year post, but I am ashamed that I haven't broken 1000 posts yet, so I am just kinda waiting until I do that so I can do both posts in one. Laziness reigns supreme, as usual~

Posted
1 minute ago, LinovaA said:

Confession: I've been meaning to do a one year post, but I am ashamed that I haven't broken 1000 posts yet, so I am just kinda waiting until I do that so I can do both posts in one. Laziness reigns supreme, as usual~

Wanna write my late 1k posts 1 year post? : ^ )

Posted
1 minute ago, Kiriririri said:

Well it's never gonna happen if I write it xD

If I wrote your post, it would literally only consist of one thing:

 

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Posted
3 minutes ago, LinovaA said:

If I wrote your post, it would literally only consist of one thing:

 

I don't know what I expected

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Posted

Confession: I see literally no reason to rename the thread, it was fine for the first 447 pages, and it's not like it's completely off-topic, it's just that the confessions aren't exactly "I thought this person was a dude ROFL" :makina:

Posted
3 hours ago, LinovaA said:

If I wrote your post, it would literally only consist of one thing:

 

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3 hours ago, Kiriririri said:

 

I don't know what I expected

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You guys broke my mobile , I hate you

You even make me keep opening and opening.... QQ

6 minutes ago, LinovaA said:

Petition to change the name back, anyone? 

Change back or we all riot

Posted

I'm having a hard time in English class keeping myself from laughing. 

"Hitler used rhetoric to do great harm."

"You have the option of choosing whether you think it's right or not."

I was already laughing at the Hitler statement. Whenever someone brings up Hitler, I always ask myself, "says who?" and then proceed to think about how I would argue that Hitler should be idolized. 

I love the topic of Hitler because it's always so one sided. 

Posted

So on my way from school my tire just fucking came off the hub while I was travelling 70mph.

Luckily last summer, we took my car apart, so I knew how to change the tires and where the jack points were.

But before I could actually do anything in fucking -5C, a nice state department guy came and was like "need help" and said he had a better jack. I gladly took his offer. I almost thought it was my halfshaft that should be on it's last legs by now. 

May post pics later. Currently eating.

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