The first thing I thought when I read this was "Fuck, I messed up". I haven't been through what you have but I can easily understand the fear of being isolated and left behind and we both know it's an horrible feeling however, I don't think you need to be afraid of it 'cause we're here for you, for each other. Just take a look at this last 2 pages, we're worried about you and we don't want to see you leave. I'm willing to bet that, even if we haven't met IRL, you're an irreplaceable friend for most, if not all, of us.