(1/20) Honest Critique on our New BG and Nun Animation

[Black Sands Entertainment]

 

NEW UPDATE

Nun's Facility BG

Please leave some constructive criticism.

UPDATE 3: Nun Animations

 

Things to consider when replying:
Concept
Layers
Animations
Expressions
 

[Tyrael]

Love the design. I always feel like bulky guys are tricky since it's hard to emphasize the muscles without making it look ridiculous. You guys did a wonderful job here. I also like the facial expressions, they look very natural. Same goes for the shading, it is subtle enough to make everything blend in seamlessly. The animations look fine to me (I'm not used to seeing them in a VN so I'm a bit taken aback, haha).

 

Small point of critique: I'd love to see some more expressions since this is something that bothers me in a lot of VN's (things like shame/embarrassment, ...). Other than that: you guys seem to be doing a great job, keep it up!

[firecat]

you did take into consideration that higher resolution sprites means longer downloads, not everyone has unlimited data or fast wifi.

[Black Sands Entertainment]

you did take into consideration that higher resolution sprites means longer downloads, not everyone has unlimited data or fast wifi.

This isn't intended to be low budget. We are going to snowball this into a triple A title. We will probably make a low rez alt mode. We are using Unity so we have more options then would typically be for a renpy launch.

[Deep Blue]

Looks awesome to be honest, like tyrael said and this is not a critique but more like a request: more facial expressions always are welcomed 

[Black Sands Entertainment]

Love the design. I always feel like bulky guys are tricky since it's hard to emphasize the muscles without making it look ridiculous. You guys did a wonderful job here. I also like the facial expressions, they look very natural. Same goes for the shading, it is subtle enough to make everything blend in seamlessly. The animations look fine to me (I'm not used to seeing them in a VN so I'm a bit taken aback, haha).

 

Small point of critique: I'd love to see some more expressions since this is something that bothers me in a lot of VN's (things like shame/embarrassment, ...). Other than that: you guys seem to be doing a great job, keep it up!

Thanks for the feedback. During our KS campaign in late february, we will make the first stretch goal, Combat Pack!

Giving all the characters alternative poses for combat AND sweat, bruises, wounds, etc.

We are keeping it basic for now to ensure we get this demo done on time for the debut in February. Thanks for all the feedback boss.

[Black Sands Entertainment]

Looks awesome to be honest, like tyrael said and this is not a critique but more like a request: more facial expressions always are welcomed 

I will direct my artist to this page in about 3 days. I want maximum feedback. He likes that sort of stuff anyway.

 

[Black Sands Entertainment]

Additionally, we are considering doing tutorial videos on our asset creation as a way to market the game and keep our base engaged. What do you think of this?

[Deep Blue]

update videos are always always a good thing during a ks campaign and the more content you can post the better it is, specially if you show a little "behind scenes" or "making of" 

[Rose]

I really like the concept as you already know, I must have said this a few times in the past. I like the animations and how the expression feel really human, nothing too deformed and kinda funny even, his confused face is just great. As everyone requested already: please more facial expressions. I also like the idea of the tutorial videos, they sound really interesting. 

[Silvz]

I have to disagree here. Although the facial expressions are well drawn and all, they don't seem to fit the character very much. Some of them, like around 45 ~ 49 seconds are too moe-chan for me :c

[Black Sands Entertainment]

I have to disagree here. Although the facial expressions are well drawn and all, they don't seem to fit the character very much. Some of them, like around 45 ~ 49 seconds are too moe-chan for me :c

i like this one. It leaves room to improve. Most of the time Rah will be angry so you will barely ever see the smiles and smirks lol

[Deep Blue]

even the toughest guys have their soft and nice side to them just dont over use that expression, same with let's say a crying face, sure it doesnt fit that character but used in some specific moment at the perfect time and you can have one hell of scene, everything depends on the writer and the plot itself.
I mean saber (fate/stay night) was really tough and serious but from time to time you see her doing some really cute faces/expressions that make your heart melt away, why? Because it wasnt something normal for her to do, that contrast in her chracter was everything.

[Black Sands Entertainment]

even the toughest guys have their soft and nice side to them just dont over use that expression, same with let's say a crying face, sure it doesnt fit that character but used in some specific moment at the perfect time and you can have one hell of scene, everything depends on the writer and the plot itself.
I mean saber (fate/stay night) was really tough and serious but from time to time you see her doing some really cute faces/expressions that make your heart melt away, why? Because it wasnt something normal for her to do, that contrast in her chracter was everything.

good feedback

[kingdomcome]

It does look good I must say... but I wonder if the constant heavy (exaggerated movement) breathing will seem a bit awkward after a while. When you look at someone irl you don't really notice this exaggerated movement, only after some heavy exercise. It's hard to see in this video because it's very short, but after reading a VN for an hour it might look a bit weird and off putting, but I can't say this for certain.

Edited December 24, 2015 by kingdomcome

[Black Sands Entertainment]

It does look good I must say... but I wonder if the constant heavy (exaggerated movement) breathing will seem a bit awkward after a while. When you look at someone irl you don't really notice this exaggerated movement, only after some heavy exercise. It's hard to see in this video because it's very short, but after reading a VN for an hour it might look a bit weird and off putting, but I can't say this for certain.

this was a concern to me as well. We will make a steady state at another time.

[JeMhUnTeR]

unrelated to the sprite, but the logo, branding, and especially the font needs to be improved. Also the video editing. Sorry, I just /had/ to say it. Plus the general typography/design concepts. For example at 0:18, you could have made "introducing" smaller and less emphasized, so you could focus the viewers on the game title.

 

The art and sounds are really great, however. The animation of the sprites could be a little better. Transition between expressions look awkward, it could be improved with a simple fade transition. The sprite itself is really great, though. Nice job.

[Forgetful Frank]

Great work so far!

The image quality looked very good, the style is very fine. The character facial expressions looked perfectly fine to me.

The only thing that bothered me was the unnecessary movement of the arms going in and out from his breathing. The chest expanding in and out are fine but I feel that there's a little too much emphasis on his arms moving.

Keep up the good work!

[Black Sands Entertainment]

We are working on that. Thanks

[Black Sands Entertainment]

A lot of the updates I posted before the crash were wiped. I best post them now.

Nun and Rah to Scale.

 

WIP of new Background - Nun's Facility

 

 

Feel Free to critique Nun and share your thoughts on the direction we are going with Nun's Facility.

[Forgetful Frank]

I really like the art style of this game, you're doing a fantastic job so far and when I have the time I'm going to read up more about your project and keep my eye on it for when it's finished. Nun looks terrifyingly omnipotent! The art has very good quality to it.

[Deep Blue]

I see Rah and I imagine him with the voice of Kratos

[Black Sands Entertainment]

2 hours ago, Deep Blue said:

I see Rah and I imagine him with the voice of Kratos

We are considering voice overs.

 

2 hours ago, Forgetful Frank said:

I really like the art style of this game, you're doing a fantastic job so far and when I have the time I'm going to read up more about your project and keep my eye on it for when it's finished. Nun looks terrifyingly omnipotent! The art has very good quality to it.

Thanks

[Black Sands Entertainment]

Nun's Facility

[firecat]

well at first it was o.k with him having a belt and some future stuff (heavy armor and belts were never part of egypt cultural, the sun will kill the man in any heavy armor). now that he has some kind of facility, it just defeats the whole learning aspect of egypt. Nun is known to never have any temples or place to worship, having a location just for kills the character.