FuwaCom : Ecchi Unknown. [shitty fanfiction]

[Kurisu-Chan]

Well, hello there minna, i am...oh please, everyone know about me, the shity tsundere who always brags about his favourite show and has a big urobuchi fetish.

Well, what do you have to expect from this shitty fanfiction? Cringy english, poorly done fights, non-existant drama, shitty romance and a ton of stupid memes, i don't even know why am i doing this, but guess i have to do it.

And, of course, please correct me if my english is terrible (it is, there's no if)

(Really, feel free to give me any criticism, i need that in order to improve my english)

Prologue : the epitome of the genesis.

Typical japanese street, Akihabara, 26 Mars 2017

The sun was bright, too bright for my NEET eyes, the air is cold, too cold for my NEET skin and the streets are crowded, too crowded for my NEET mind...And here i am, in Akiba, the anime mecca, the holy land of the perverts, the sacred ground of the eroge and...

??? :Oi oi, gaijin-san, why the fuck are you standing like this? is that a gaijin tradition or what?

I got suddenly interrupted by mister Takao. I know it sounds weird, but he's actually my japanese pen pal, i just recently got to meet him, and since i discovered he was also an otaku, it was even easier for me to talk to him, i mean, it's been only 3 days since i got my vacations for Japan, and i'm already hanging out with a bunch of japanese dudes.

Gaijin-san : You can speak with yourself Mister Takao, it was just thinking about...stuff, stranger stuff as you may think, you know, i'm not really a NEET, i do have a job and all, but i prefer to drow myself into otaku stuff and all.

Japanese dude A : Hahaha Takao-kun, your gaijin-san friend is kinda right, i never expected to meet a gaijin so open about otakuness.

Japanese dude B : haven't you heard about the new big eroge? with lot of bishoujo and cute traps?

Takao : you may be the only one here into cute traps, i mean, what are you, gay?

Gaijin-san : nah, i don't think traps are gay, since they are girly and all.

And we continued, laughing and talking about stupid shit and anime...everywhere on screens, you could see the new Berserk anime made by Ufotable, new ads for some weird eroge as well as ads for creepy maid café...on the streets, you could see some Jietai patrols, equiped with modern, but they completely feel normal, compared to the HUGE amount of cosplayers roaming the streets, cosplay of every thing, from lusty maids to some crazy characters. In short, Akiba was a heaven for me...if only, it didn't happen, my biggest fear...

Takao : Eh, why did the sky suddenly turn dark?

Gaijin-san : what do you...what...

In one instant, the whole scenery changed, the peaceful akiba turned into hell, as the sky darkened, multiple....things fell to the ground, struck to towers, buildings or even the streets, the debris fell over us, and...nearly killed us.

Gaijin-san : guys! we must get the fuck out of here, run to the metro station! Now!

But as i was yelling, one of the things well on our position, crushing the ribs of one of Takao's friend...it took us a whole minute to awake again...unfortunately, one of us didn't make it.

Takao: Kuso kuso kuso! what do we do now?! what the hell is happening here!

We didn't even have the time to think of something, a ship approached us...no doubt was possible.

Gaijin-san : Aliens...FOLLOW ME! WE must get the fuck out of here!

.....

Meanwhile.

TV Journalist : as we speak now, the same scenes repeating everywhere, Paris, London, Tokyo, New York and many, many other big towns were assaulted in the same way, what was first mistaken as an meteor shower was, in fact, and trust me, this is not a joke, an Alien invasion, one of our journalist caugh the picture of one of these...things...before he got killed and..

the TV got interrupted and, a blurred face appeared...the counsilman, why am i not surprised.

Counsilman : Hello comma...eh wait, you're not the Commander...thanks to you i look like a stupid guy, get me your commander, now.

???: We still have no information regarding the commander, sir, it's his holiday and.

Counsilman : Wait, didn't he tell you? he's in Japan and...oh...ok, i'll tell them. Change of plan mysterious soldier, the UN has activated the FuwaCOM cell, unfortunately, your commander is missing.

As the Counsilman continue to speak, another guy entered the room, it was C.O Bradley, he's in charge of the logistic and supplying the field units with intel and orders, his nickname was Texas Dice, a rather weird nickname in my opinion.

Bradley : Oh sorry lieutenant Tsundere, didn't knew you were with the super secret counsil everyone on the base knows his existence.

Counsilman : Mh...seriously, why such people are our only chance?...speak, mister Bradley, why are you even here.

Bradley : We got a transmission from the commander...he's being under assault by the aliens, he's in Japan, i tried to pinpoint his position, he's near the Akihabara trainstation...why the fuck is he so fond of trains?..oh, and he asked Tsundere to lead the recovery team, so...good luck Lieutenant.

Tsundere : You know, i have a name, my name is Christina, not Tsundere!...Oh sorry Counsilman, but we have to recover our commander, i think it's the right course of action, you agree?

Counsilman : You could go fuck yourself, i don't care anymore...just go recover the Commander, i'll talk with him about the future operations, Dismiss!

We had no time to lose, i ran as fast as i could to the armory, the mission was vital, if we dont recover our rightful leader, we'll lose the war...it's your fault, stupid otaku! 

As i arrived to the armory, only 3 soldiers were here: The first of them, a tall slavic guy, with long white hairs, a big scar on his left cheek, and an adidas-inspired strips on his armor, a sniper rifle -the PGM Hecate II, with the inscriptions "Vodka for life", his name : Corporal Vlad "Voko" Brejnev, a fine soldier from the czech army, even if he's...rather lunatic, and mostly speak with dank memes. The second soldier, a bit shorter, with a brown skin, black hairs and a juvenile, beardless face, his name : Ahmed "HuMaN" Iskander, a Palestinian soldier under the Jordanese army...with an israeli flag...yeh, the flag was my idea, i wanted to mess up with him, if you've seen his face, magad it was funny. It's a tradition to do a bit of tease with new soldiers, and he wasn't the exception to the rule. He was our demolition experts, always carrying a standard FuwaCOM assault rifle and X-04 explosives.

And Finally, the last of them, a rather generic size(But a very big..."size" i can tell you), with anime-esque blue hairs, a rather generic brown skin, he is...oh, right, i remember now, Lance-Corporal Noel "Big Gun" Ferrara, a proud portuguese special forces member, bearing a big ass minigun ...i'll have to deal with that grotesque team.

Oh, who am i? Lieutenant Christina "Tsundere" LaRoche, even if i'm not a tsundere. I used to work for GIGN, and got promoted to this...ultra secret anti-alien project, FuwaCOM, our objective is to assure planetary defence, we're the first...and the last line of survival, if we do not save our leader, the world is doomed, with that in mind, i had only one order to give them.

-soldiers! we are humanity's last hope...let's save our Commander!

And this is the story of how humanity's trash dealt with the biggest threat even faced by earth since Donald Trump's Election.

END

 

....I'm sorry, sorry!

[abrazilrep]

You put well instead of fell, but on general

Nice/10

[Vokoca]

11 minutes ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

The first of them, a tall slavic guy, with long white hairs, a big scar on his left cheek, and an adidas-inspired strips on his armor, a sniper rifle -the PGM Hecate II, with the inscriptions "Vodka for life", his name : Corporal Vlad "Voko" Brejnev, a fine soldier from the czech army, even if he's...rather lunatic, and mostly speak with dank memes.

Hey now, this.... this is a bit too accurate, don't you think? It's, uh... dank memes, dank memes.... oh yeah, 3spooky5me.

[HMN]

20 minutes ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Ahmed "HuMaN" Iskander, a Palestinian soldier under the Jordanese army...with an israeli flag

this is so wrong on so many levels.....

Spoiler

I like it

 

[SCG_1037]

This is so beautiful  .

[AaronIsCrunchy]

3 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Typical japanese street, Akihabara, 26 Mars 2017

You are so beautifully French

If you seriously do want some help on the English side of things I could PM you my proofreadings. Either way content wise, this was excellent. I was laughing from start to finish pretty much.

[Kurisu-Chan]

Haven't you seen i used the french format date?

Yep, i'm totally writing the dates in french.  

[Kurisu-Chan]

I appologize for the poor quality of the prologue, i guess i was too fast...i'll try my best for the first chapter. 

[Guest]

Quote

And this is the story of how humanity's trash dealt with the biggest threat even faced by earth since Donald Trump's Election.

Gotta cram that political commentary in there somewhere, amirite? 

[Kurisu-Chan]

19 minutes ago, frogstat said:

Gotta cram that political commentary in there somewhere, amirite? 

I'll counter that with a Hillary meme, don't worry.  

[Kurisu-Chan]

Ok, guys, since now i've tasted ultimate despair.

The only thing i can do, is to continue this shitty fanfiction...i'll try to publish the sequel today or tomorrow. 

[Kurisu-Chan]

I'm really a very bad case of human being, i'm sorry for this...unconvenience....

 

Tbh, i really want to write something, at least as experience in order to perfect more my english, so.... Yeh, it's gonna be a thing, FuwaCOM will be a thing. 

[Benji Price]

1 hour ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

I'm really a very bad case of human being, i'm sorry for this...unconvenience....

 

Tbh, i really want to write something, at least as experience in order to perfect more my english, so.... Yeh, it's gonna be a thing, FuwaCOM will be a thing. 

practice makes a master... keep on with that!