Neko Para to release simultaneously in Japanese, English, and Chinese, out now!

[Rin91]

Was pretty damn excited for this, but seeing the pics herkz is posting on Twitter is making me want to cry... I'm sure he's posting the worst he stumbles upon, but the translation seems to be machine level.

Edit: herkz' twitter for those who want to take a look.

[Satsuki]

Hmm, the English in the demo is pretty fine for me.

The vn is a bit laggy though, not sure if it's because of the vn itself or my laptop just suck

[Darklord Rooke]

I was going to download the demo and give a short critique with regard to the game's readability, but I'll leave Hertz to it. I'm a lazy man and this saves me the trouble

[Rin91]

Tweet from Sekai Project: "...demo is not indicative of the final version."

Nice to hear. Hope restored.

[Mr Poltroon]

Tweet from Sekai Project: "...demo is not indicative of the final version."

Nice to hear. Hope restored.

...That is somewhat counter productive.

 

What use is a demo that does not showcase the product it is attempting to sell?

[Satsuki]

Still don't get any of those twitt from herkz

What's the problem with those lines again?

[Darklord Rooke]

...That is somewhat counter productive.

 

Counter-productive is the nice way of putting it.

 

While it is good to hear isn't the release date next month? That's not a lot of time.

[Mr Poltroon]

Still don't get any of those twitt from herkz

What's the problem with those lines again?

Oh yes. I agree. 

I know I have low standards, but some of those lines seem just fine to me.

"Their hair, always smooth, felt nice." - It is a weird sentence, I'll give it that. But it doesn't seem 'wrong' per say. "Smooth as always" seems better for what I think it means.

"I rearranged their hair with a comb." - 'Rearrange' might be a strange choice of words for this sentence. Furthermore, 'with a comb' could be redundant, depending on the context.

Can't find fault with this one https://twitter.com/herkz2/status/535837352380211200

I don't think I have the ability to find fault with this one https://twitter.com/herkz2/status/535835761094836224

"My little sister really dotes on neko." - This one seems fine. "neko" is her name, after all.

https://twitter.com/herkz2/status/535832779670319104

"Wherever Chocola is, I am also there." - This seems fine to me.

"Besides, neko are drawn to tight spaces" - 'drawn' may not be the appropriate word. 'Attracted' would be better.

"Also, they said 'This box is heavy, so be careful with it' in regards to me, as well" - 'in regards' is only disrupting the sentence. Otherwise, even if comma heavy, it should be fine.

"So I was also mad. Upset as well." - Did they translate this twice? Redundancy FTW.

If that's the worst it's got to offer, it's miles away from machine translation. And for what it's for, it does the job, I'd say.

[Satsuki]

Well, as long as you just read and enjoy it instead of nitpicking things, it should be fine. Way better than IMHHW's grammar, imo.

[Darklord Rooke]

"Also, they said 'This box is heavy, so be careful with it' in regards to me, as well" - 'in regards' is only disrupting the sentence. Otherwise, even if comma heavy, it should be fine.

 

I'm just going to do one line cause I need to be somewhere.

 

Third line, wow… where to begin. We’ll start with the obvious – “in regards to” is incorrect usage, it’s “in regard to.” A tad confusing so I usually use “with respect to” because less chance of making an error.

 

Next – “in regard to” is business language not REALLY suited to everyday conversations unless you’re a very formal person. It is possible she speaks that way but I’ll tag it here just in case though. And anyway if someone talks formally they’re usually precise and clear, which this character is not. She’s being roundabout which is different from being formal.

 

Next – Redundant words. Both “also” and “as well” are used. Use one not both, if at all. Furthermore repetitive words are also a problem, so if you use the word “also” or “as well” in this line you shouldn’t use it in the nex- oh look at that.

 

“In regard to me” isn’t a very clear way of identifying that the people were talking about the box she was in. It’s very roundabout, it uses a lot of words to describe a simple situation, so you have a lot of words doing very little in that sentence. That’s usually described as clutter. Much of that sentence can be eliminated and replace with the simple, yet effective, “my box." If you want something a little closer to the original tone, you’ll have to find someone fluent in Japanese. All I can tell you is it doesn’t work in English.

 

So, third line. You have redundancies, incorrect English, suspect tone (business language yet very roundabout) and a resulting sentence which is not as clear as it should be. It’s actually a terrible line.

 

Consider -

Also, they said my "box is heavy so be careful with it."

Better?

[Rin91]

The English is simply too blunt and unnatural. It might sound like nitpicking but many find it hard to enjoy reading when they keep correcting the sentences in their own head. Having low standards is fine, we all want more VNs to read, and I'd never say a translation wasn't worth doing as long as it makes sense, but I expect more from an official release.

[Mr Poltroon]

I'm just going to do one line cause I need to be somewhere.

 

Third line, wow… where to begin. We’ll start with the obvious – “in regards to” is incorrect usage, it’s “in regard to.” A tad confusing so I usually use “with respect to” because less chance of making an error.

 

Next – “in regard to” is business language not REALLY suited to everyday conversations unless you’re a very formal person. It is possible she speaks that way but I’ll tag it here just in case though. And anyway if someone talks formally they’re usually precise and clear, which this character is not. She’s being roundabout which is different from being formal.

 

Next – Redundant words. Both “also” and “as well” are used. Use one not both, if at all. Furthermore repetitive words are also a problem, so if you use the word “also” or “as well” in this line you shouldn’t use it in the nex- oh look at that.

 

“In regard to me” isn’t a very clear way of identifying that the people were talking about the box she was in. It’s very roundabout, it uses a lot of words to describe a simple situation, so you have a lot of words doing very little in that sentence. That’s usually described as clutter. Much of that sentence can be eliminated and replace with the simple, yet effective, “my box." If you want something a little closer to the original tone, you’ll have to find someone fluent in Japanese. All I can tell you is it doesn’t work in English.

 

So, third line. You have redundancies, incorrect English, suspect tone (business language yet very roundabout) and a resulting sentence which is not as clear as it should be. It’s actually a terrible line.

 

Consider -

Also, they said my "box was heavy so be careful with it."

Better?

Wow. Now that was really bad. On my part, I mean. 

I can safely say that line is broken, given that I misunderstood its meaning (nothing context can't fix, but still).

 

As for the redundant words, I must admit that I am a special case that would have not noticed that, as I overuse them drastically during everyday conversation.

 

The English is simply too blunt and unnatural. It might sound like nitpicking but many find it hard to enjoy reading when they keep correcting the sentences in their own head. Having low standards is fine, we all want more VNs to read, and I'd never say a translation wasn't worth doing as long as it makes sense, but I expect more from an official release.

I understand, it's somewhat annoying to read a translation you just think could be better.

But I can tell you I certainly wouldn't be reading a title like this to when looking for my next literary masterpiece, but each to their own.

[Nosebleed]

Can't we all just hold hands and appreciate cute nekomimi girls without thinking too hard about it?

 

The amount of "bad English" in this demo is within my expectations, I never set a high bar for it from the beginning so maybe that's why I'm not as disappointed as some of you seem to be.

 

Indeed some sentences are awkward, but nothing that's completely ruining the enjoyment I take out of it at least.

 

Although I do wish they'd stop calling them "nekos".

That's just.. blegh..

 

Regardless.

I will nosebleed to all the cute cat girls and your awkward English is not going to stop me Sekai Project. #Rekt

[Satsuki]

Wow. Now that was really bad. On my part, I mean. 

I can safely say that line is broken, given that I misunderstood its meaning (nothing context can't fix, but still).

 

As for the redundant words, I must admit that I am a special case that would have not noticed that, as I overuse them drastically during everyday conversation.

 

[Rin91]

Can't we all just hold hands and appreciate cute nekomimi girls without thinking too hard about it?

[Fiddle]

Let us shut up with the English nitpicking and appreciate the greatest feature of all, one that truly serves as the hallmark of modern Japanese culture: Chest Bounciness.

[suikashoujo]

I was already planning to buy this game, but the demo got me even more excited. I mean, just LOOK at them. Ultra-moe.

 

Vanilla best neko

[Kosakyun]

Vanilla best neko

 

It is only complete with both.

 

I hope it doesn't have a lot of boob physics.

It might distract me too much.

[Mephisto]

In context, that line is supposed to be a fat joke. Didn't realize it when it was a single japanese line by itself, lol. 

[Darklord Rooke]

For anybody who cares Herkz is implying there are basic TL errors in the script. Zhe referenced this image while doing so. I can't comment here because my knowledge of Japanese is officially at the "you suck balls" level. 

 

[Zakamutt]

Wait, does that even fully make sense Englishwise?

[Decay]

Obviously, it's missing some context, but there aren't any egregious english errors. With the proper context, it's probably fine. I'm not entirely sold on the "Humanoid cats" thing, though. It's a mouthful to say so I can't imagine it as a casual name for a common type of pet. 

[sanahtlig]

The third line in that last screenshot suggests cause and effect between a catgirl walking down a street and a decrease in less fortunate catgirls ("that led to").  I can't imagine a plausible scenario where that would make any sense.  I don't see the same suggestion of cause and effect in the Japanese text, or at least what I understand of it.

[Decay]

Again, you're missing context. The "On the other hand" part does change the meaning of the line, and can easily make it refer to another line that isn't in the screenshot. "On the other hand" can be used to call back to something without having to provide the context within the sentence.

 

"An event occurred. As a result, thing A happened. On the other hand, that led to thing B happening." When reading this sequence, you're probably going to connect the third statement to the first and not the second. Perhaps to improve clarity they should have added in an "also", "that also led to thing B happening." But eh, like I said, i doubt it's a big deal in context.

[Mephisto]

From what I can tell of those four lines, it appears to be saying that in the past it wasn't unusual to see cats walking through the city. However now that people have started taking them in as pets, you only see them here and there now. The converse side of seeing less cats, is that there are less unfortunate cats. As a cat owner, I think that's a wonderful thing. 

 

Have to say the grammar usage there threw me off though, felt really awkward reading.