solidbatman Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Rooke sat at his desk staring at the stack of papers that had been placed there. His wrinkled face tightened up into an even more unpleasant look, not all that different from an old prune, left out in the sun for too long. "Alright, time to grade these." Rooke grabbed the first paper in the stack. It read, "My Dog. My dog is kute. My dog liks too run. My dog is kool. I love my dog." Feeling his blood pressure rise, Rooke began rubbing his temples. "Deep breaths, deeps breaths," he kept telling himself. "Timmy!" he suddenly shouted. "To my desk, now!" A boy stood up from his desk, trembling, and slowly made his way up to Rooke's desk. "Y-yes sir?" "Timmy, are you an ignorant fool that has not been listening to my teachings for the past 3 hours? Because this paper is complete, and utter garbage. Mangagamer could have written this better!" Timmy did his best to maintain his composure. "I listen sir. I'm sorry." His lower lip was quivering. It was a pathetic sight to behold. "If I handed this to any, ANY, literary group in the world, they would put it in a paper shredder and take a piss all over the shredded piles. Go back to your desk, think about what you have done, and edit this pile of shit." Timmy took his paper from Rooke and sat back down at his desk. He placed his head on his desk, and used his arms to hide his face as he began to cry as quietly as he could. Feeling satisfied that a lesson had been taught, Rooke moved on to the next paper. "Mommy. Mommy maks the bestest fud. Wen she get home from werk, I get so happy. My mommy is my faverit persen in the earth." Rooke barely finished the paper before shouting, "Cassandra! Get up here right this second!" A young girl burst into tears as she stood up from her desk and made her way to the front of the class. The rest of the class let out a collective sigh. It wasn't their turn yet. They were spared for another editing pass. "Cassandra, did your mom raise an illiterate monkey that eats her own poop?" Cassandra shook her head. "No? Well, when I read this, that is how I imagine the author of this... I can't even call it English. This is so incomprehensible that I may have actually gone blind from it. Is that what you want? You want Rooke to go blind?" Cassandra tearfully shook her head again. "If you don't want that, I want you to take this paper, rip it up, and throw it away. I don't want to see your face again until you've become a respectable writer." Cassandra snatched the paper from Rooke and ran out of the classroom, bawling her eyes out. "Good riddance. The less poor writers we have in this world, the better. Now who is next?" And so the first day of First Grade at Kieth Smith Elementary School continued. suikashoujo, Darklord Rooke, Zakamutt and 7 others 10 Quote
Zakamutt Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Mangagamer could have written this better! I lol'd Quote
Darklord Rooke Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 His wrinkled face tightened up into an even more unpleasant look, not all that different from an old prune, left out in the sun for too long. But seriously though, I really do think I'd make a good teacher. Your story just makes me more certain of this, how hard could it be For those that don't know, I may or may not have ranted about MangaGamer's writing ability. Apparently I sounded like a "crazy person" ..... Silvz and arakura 2 Quote
arakura Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Awww, hahaha. This is really funny ^^ And kind of sad Quote
Eclipsed Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Shouldn't it be the first AND last day for Keith Smith Elementary School xD or at least for Mr. Rooke since there'll be plenty of outraged parents when they find out about his beautiful, beautiful teaching methods. Quote
Zodai Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Oh, dear. I'm going to be keeping a very close eye on this. >:3 Quote
Satsuki Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 For those that don't know, I may or may not have ranted about MangaGamer's writing ability. Apparently I sounded like a "crazy person" ..... You did ~ Quote
zoom909 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Picture of your typical visual novel localization team Also, I was ranting about Mangagamer before Rooke got here (I wonder if I can find those posts...it was back in the Da Capo / Shuffle days) Darklord Rooke 1 Quote
Zalor Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Will there be a part two to this? We still have a whole classroom to work through. This reminds me of the Symphonic Rain scene when Professor Grave was recruiting for his class and violated on all the prospective students except for Chris. I guess Rooke = Professor Grave Quote
Darklord Rooke Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Shouldn't it be the first AND last day for Keith Smith Elementary School xD or at least for Mr. Rooke since there'll be plenty of outraged parents when they find out about his beautiful, beautiful teaching methods. They can take it or leave it. I change for no man Also, I was ranting about Mangagamer before Rooke got here (I wonder if I can find those posts...it was back in the Da Capo / Shuffle days) You've got to make Bats salty by ranting AT him about something he doesn't agree with. In this case I wouldn't accept the arguments that a) MG staff aren't paid much, b ) Princess Evangile is readible and c) that I went over-the-top with my criticisms Quote
Shikomizue Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 And so the first day of First Grade at Kieth Smith Elementary School continued. And that, is where I lol'd. 10/10 Best story 2015. Quote
zoom909 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 They can take it or leave it. I change for no man You've got to make Bats salty by ranting AT him about something he doesn't agree with. In this case I wouldn't accept the arguments that a) MG staff aren't paid much, b ) Princess Evangile is readible and c) that I went over-the-top with my criticisms I see. Well I hope you preface your rants to him with "Riddle me this, Batman." (I would.) Quote
Kosakyun Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 >Elementary School >3 hours of lecture >Writing Activity >First Day What a sadist. Quote
OriginalRen Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Member's lounge?! Get out of here you scrub nugget! ... Good post. Quote
Zodai Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Member's lounge?! Get out of here you scrub nugget! ... Good post. On the contrary, I have a feeling that Batman intends to base some sort of a game/contest/thing around the concept. Therefore, it belongs in Member's Lounge if that is true, we just haven't gotten to the point where those rules can be explained. Or, I could just be totally wrong and there's nothing that's going to be based off this at all and I'm just INSANE or something. Quote
arakura Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 *backs away slowly* I await the continuation of this... wonderful... story~ dont hurt anyone's feelings too much, y'hear!? Quote
Eclipsed Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 D'aww this was moved to Coliseum of Chatter?? Quote
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