Top 10 Visual Novel Players

[Nosebleed]

The visual novel community is incredibly diverse and spread out across multiple locations, so much so that it sometimes becomes hard to know what kind of people we're dealing with.

Well no worries, because me and a team of highly trained professionals have spent 32 years studying this community and have cataloged all of our findings in order to give people the ability to always know the type of player they are dealing with. 

Each category is followed by what we believe to be their typical call* when roaming through the inter web, so if you hear any of these, you know what you're facing ahead.

*Some of these sounds may or may not be mating calls as well.

 

---

1 -The Hipster Elitists 

"Muv-Luv Alternative is a 7/10 game. It has great moments, yes, but overall it isn't all that impressive. IMHO it does not deserve very high a place in the hallmark of VN's."

2 The Steam Casuals

3 - The Lolicon

"I skipped every route in Hoshimemo for Mare's route and it was clearly the best part of the whole story, really spoke to me on a personal level."

4 - The Hebephile

"I don't like underage girls that look too young, only ones that are like 14, I'm not like those disgusting lolicons."

5 - The Moege Crowd

"I nominate Imouto Paradise for next year's Academy Awards."

6 - The Anti-Moege Crowd

"Having killed anime back in 2006, moe is currently on the cusp of destroying visual novels."

7 - The Translator

"This visual novel is completely butchered, they clearly should have used 'thank you' instead of 'thanks' in this sentence. 0/10"

8 - The OELVN Developer

"Today I bring you a kickstarter for Sakura Highschool Doki Doki Adventure Mk 2 where you play the role of an average highschool student who suddenly finds himself squished between the breasts of his kawaii osananajimi and Senpai. Who will he pick to be his bride? (hint, it's both). Plz gib m0ney."

9 - The Anti H-content

"I not fapping to 2D girls, I love them in a romantic sense not sexual, and in my opinion sex kills all romance and I am strongly against any kind of sex for many reasons, I am especially against 2D porn and I find it to be discrase for 2D world.

Which is also a part of my 2D girls>3D girls opinion as 3D romance relationship is all about sex not about real love which as I believe doesn't even exist in a 3D world and couldn't exist."

10 - The Undefined

"Everything you said is completely and utterly wrong. This is also a part when I said to Ren about being so blinded by 3D world that he is not capable to really see Anime World. 3D world is the one that is shaped by the 2D world and not the other way around, it has always been so. For as long as there was this 3D world and we humans have started our evolution with technology there have been a stories and those stories ware as important part of evolution as is technology,
if technology gives us possibilities stories give us ideas of how to use those possibilities.It's stories and legend that had put rules into an empty world and with it created society and morals at first but later everything else as well including emotions too.Everything that we have in this 3D world started from an idea from a story, it was what one at a time might consider a fictional story but due people being fascinated by that story they try to realize it and by realizing they create something new in this empty world. Some examples of this would be aristocracy, it was at first only a story or an idea of out there being superior people who should led and rest who should fallow but by repeating that story, by out there being people who ware fascinated by those stories, those who tried to realize it and those who started to believe in it eventually aristocracy was born as one of first orders in a wild empty world in other words it was born as one of first socaityes. Latter diplomacy was no different. Another example closer to our time  would be emotions, to summarize it down let's choose only love as an example.
There have been stories about love far into the past but only did in last 50-100 yeasr had it started to become realized. Nowadays talks about love and romance as something that exist in this world is normal, but that wasn't so just in a recent past. as for how recent past that could wary from 50 to 100 years as not all countries and regions had been evolving at a same time and even now we have more and less advanced countries. But regardless of that if you look into the past
there was little to no mention of love as something that has been taking seriously. People ware mostly just getting married based on their statuses, in low and middle class of people women would look for someone who has a steady job and is capable of looking after a family man would look foor woman capable of doing chores around the house and looks might pay some role as well but personalities very little and love would hardly even be mentioned.
In fact in a lot of socaities it would also be common thing for parents to just decide who will their children get married to. In higher class of people wouldn't be much different, people would be getting meried for bisnis purposes. The most of love that would be even mentioned would have been some small romantic act such as maybe giving a flowers or something, and people would have considered just taking a liking to someone apprentice to be falling in love.
This has only changed in last 50 or so years only because people have optioned far more freedom, secure lifes and offcourse because love stories
have become much more common and where broth to next level and people started to believe in those stories until it become a norm. But as everything else in this world love too it is still far from real and noting more then fake and delusion, that is why always when one story gets realized it only opens a path for a new version of that story more complex, expanded and more real to come into view and to try to get realized. And now for the first time in history we have Anime.
But as it's technology that gives as possibilities we can't advance furder then technology allows as, and as technology has but barely started it is still not at a level to gives as a possibility to create something real like in Anime worlds therefore we can only advance stories to get closest to real thing as possible little by little and by realizing those stories to get our world closer to having something real in it. Technology will eventually gives a possibilities to create a real worlds once when we get to the point where everything in this one 3D world is under our control witch is the purpose of existence of this world, to become a seed from with a new worlds are born. Anime are most advanced stories that we have ever had in this world, they are for the very first times the stories of something real, of real worlds with real emotions. I think it is so ironic to call this world we live in a real world when everything in it is fake and it is anime world that has real things in it. And offcourse anime it self is constantly advancing to new highs. So now all we need is technology to create those anime worlds, now it comes a time for us to evolve into gods. This Shitty 3D world only exist for the sake of Anime worlds and chosen few geniuses who will evolve into gods and create new worlds in an image of perfection in an image of anime. Offcourse there is far more to it but I think I had blessed you with my presence enough for today.

Also perverts are just animals who fallow their instincts and failures in evolution therefore no different from worms."

Or, alternatively, when provoked:

"You people are joke who think that just being from japan and being an otaku makes you a true otaku. Being true otaku means understanding anime culture and it's worlds and dedicating your life to otakuism. Anime characters are pure and would never do anything primitive like sex. Anime characters are far superior to real life humans far deeper and more complicated and something to be worshiped not used as fap material. You don't even understand that yet you call yourself an otaku."

 

---

 

Thank you for reading the findings of our research, don't forget to leave your  on the way out.

[Kaguya]

Pretty dank. I'd inform y'all of what I am, but nothing quite fits (though I'm close enough to hipster elitist) so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Yuuko]

I believe I belong in the Lolicon Elitist Moege crowd  

[Fiddle]

[OriginalRen]

@Nosebleed You sir are on a role with dankness this week. So many shit posts; I'm proud.

Also, that Okami drop is beautiful.

[Dergonu]

This is awesome

Hmm, I'd say I am probably ....

Yup. This.

27 minutes ago, Nosebleed said:

5 - The Moege Crowd

"I nominate Imouto Paradise for next year's Academy Awards."

(Aaaaaand seeing as my favorite girl in that game is Koharu, I'll throw in the lolicon as well   )

[Mr Poltroon]

I suppose I'd be in with the moege crowd? Isn't there a "I like everything that's objectively rubbish!" Category? Or maybe a "I like anything with romance in it".

[Okarin]

There's a subcategory of the anti-H who feel that most H-scenes are pandering crap, and yet another who think vanilla sex gets boring real fast.

[Fred the Barber]

Well, this won't be the last time someone tells me I'm not in their top 10 list.

[iamnoob]

Might I recommend No.10 to be written in English? It's current state is... less than to be desired.

Also if you can't tell from my Profile Pic  33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

[Nosebleed]

I thought about editing number 10, but I figured it would be more scientifically accurate as well as impactful if it was left in its raw state.

[Kanbe]

I keked more than I should've. 

[TexasDice]

Entries that didn't make the cut:

- The Majikoi crowd

- Guys who make an account to ask for a translation and never log in again after being told off

- Yuri fanatics

- The "I've made this account to ask for porn"-people (notable quote: "I want VN with Big BOOBS that have English translation .")

 

 

[OriginalRen]

After reading this over (for real this time because I didn't before), I realize that this is Okami and Steve. So beautiful.

[sanahtlig]

The Super-saiyan 

Learned Japanese purely to play porn games and has played hundreds if not thousands.  Also includes super-saiyans in training.  Significant overlap with The Hipster Elitists.

[spademan]

forgot the fapper

[Funyarinpa]

2 minutes ago, spademan said:

forgot the fapper

that isn't really a separate category :^)

[Dergonu]

1 hour ago, TexasDice said:

- Yuri fanatics

 

[Eclipsed]

I'm a Filthy Casual

[VirginSmasher]

This is the greatest shit post I have seen in the last month. Gr8 job Nosebleed.

Also, you forgot that one guy who likes kyonyuus and gets shit on by a community full of lolicons. 

[AaronIsCrunchy]

Falling firmly into the anti-H crowd I feel (at least, the top bit )

Spent most of this giggling like an idiot, good job :3

[OriginalRen]

@Nosebleed You even copied the text over with all of the glorious grammar mistakes. Not even OC...what a scrub.

Still brilliant though.

[ittaku]

I don't think I fit into any of those categories. I am a translator but your example suggests a wannabe translator.

4 hours ago, Nosebleed said:

7 - The Translator

"This visual novel is completely butchered, they clearly should have used 'thank you' instead of 'thanks' in this sentence. 0/10"

This is the person who knows only a little bit of Japanese and doesn't realise that translation is about nuance, thinking translation is about conveying grammar and vocabulary. I'm not even that good a translator but no way would any translator who's done any amount of work pick on such a difference

[Darklord Rooke]

24 minutes ago, ittaku said:

This is the person who knows only a little bit of Japanese and doesn't realise that translation is about nuance, thinking translation is about conveying grammar and vocabulary.

Otherwise known as one of those translators who hangs out on /a/ ...

[DarkZedge]

7 hours ago, Dergonu said:

This is awesome

Hmm, I'd say I am probably ....

Yup. This.

(Aaaaaand seeing as my favorite girl in that game is Koharu, I'll throw in the lolicon as well   )

Pretty much the same as Senpai.