UNO ME MANO A MANO AT THE CRACK OF DAWN OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES, O ZAKKA

[hsmsful]

You know, I used to think you were a nice guy. Or at least a /funny/ dick. But after seeing your true face this night playing Uno, I can no longer bear your presence upon these forums, nay, the Internet, nay, the world itself. In the voice call you destroyed me utterly, scheming my demise together with your so-called "waifu" @HMN as well as that dastardly brit and the "SECRET" SHITPOSTER YOU LITERALLY INVITED PURELY TO INCREASE YOUR SERVER'S SHITPOSTING POWER. It started out innocent enough when you made a fucking meme because I said "childhood" like "childhoods". I mean fine, it was funny, for the first three fucking seconds. TOO BAD YOU KEPT IT UP ALL NIGHT. But you weren't satisfied with that, were you? You just had to fucking kill my dog too.

Okay let's back up here. You know how Zaka writes about his cooking sometimes? https://disearnestlydisearnest.wordpress.com/2016/05/10/cooking-with-zaka-a-super-legit-tomato-sauce-narrative/ I used to think it was funny, too. But what you don't realize is how he uses these concoctions. Well, he gave a batch of that awful salsa to us, and just as fucking expected it was bland as shit. We ended up giving half of it to the family dog, and now you realize his ingenious plan - yeah, he was actually trying to poison poor Mahmood to death. YOU INSULTED ME ALL NIGHT AND KILLED MY DOG.

You know what I want now, don't you? It's time for a battle at the crack of dawn, 1v1, random starting order, ACKNOWLEDGE ALL DRAW CARDS, no stacking, Final Destination: Egypt. I'm going to destroy you at uno so hard you won't know what hit you, until you realize that addition by four is triggering your PTSD. Have fun passing your math classes, you god damn conniving wannabe cat.

1v1 me in uno tonight

or I will give you a taste of your own FUCKING SALSA AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT.

[Zakamutt]

In lieu of a reply to this malicious screed, let me present some poetry constructed purely of things this young man has actually said:

My gay senses are tingling
I'm feeling the climax
I have airbags under my eyes
My gay senses are tingling
I have no male brothers
I am displeased and I want to fuck some gay boys
I have airbags under my eyes
Oh my

[hsmsful]

Dear "friend" , you haven't really responded to my challenge and I find this utterly disrespectful. In addition to that, you further insult me by posting that ridiculously rude and disgusting poem, twisting my own words as if to sound witty. Thou art truly a pitiful scum. Would you really appreciate kicking people when they are down? YOU HAVE ALREADY FUCKING KILLED MY MAHMOOD AND INSULTED ME THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE NIGHT AND NOW YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE THE DIGNITY TO RESPOND TO MY CHALLENGE.

I guess you have shown us just how much cowardice can influence one's own life to make him use the most underhanded tactics. 

[Zander]

Really? Really?

I'd like to direct you to this article, hsmsful: How To Write A Funny Post. There's a choice excerpt in there: "Humor lies in the ordinary. In the emotions that everyone can understand."  Do you really think anyone else can understand what you're saying?

I get it, this is the Coliseum of Chatter, it's a free-for-all, you can post anything you like, hehe let me jerk off my buddies by posting our inside meme jokes even though nobody else on the entire forum knows what the hell we're talking about type section of the forum. Even that has its limits, though. I'm no master of shitposting, not necessarily the funniest guy around either, but this indecipherable garbage doesn't belong here or anywhere else, except maybe r/ComedyCemetery.

6 minutes ago, Zakamutt said:

In lieu of a reply to this malicious screed, let me present some poetry constructed purely of things this young man has actually said:

My gay senses are tingling
I'm feeling the climax
I have airbags under my eyes
My gay senses are tingling
I have no male brothers
I am displeased and I want to fuck some gay boys
I have airbags under my eyes
Oh my

What even is this? I like you and respect you, Zaka, at least more than OP, but I really think whatever this is should have died in your discord server and remained buried there.

I apologise if I'm coming across as aggressive here, I really don't mean to. But first that guy with the dying dog and the salsa, now this... 

[Zakamutt]

2 minutes ago, Zander said:

What even is this? I like you and respect you, Zaka, at least more than OP, but I really think whatever this is should have died in your discord server and remained buried there.

 

I apologise if I'm coming across as aggressive here, I really don't mean to. But first that guy with the dying dog and the salsa, now this... 

Look, you just don't get how beautiful it is. Here, let me sing it for you.

[hsmsful]

6 minutes ago, Zander said:

Really? Really?

I'd like to direct you to this article, hsmsful: How To Write A Funny Post. There's a choice excerpt in there: "Humor lies in the ordinary. In the emotions that everyone can understand."  Do you really think anyone else can understand what you're saying?

I get it, this is the Coliseum of Chatter, it's a free-for-all, you can post anything you like, hehe let me jerk off my buddies by posting our inside meme jokes even though nobody else on the entire forum knows what the hell we're talking about type section of the forum. Even that has its limits, though. I'm no master of shitposting, not necessarily the funniest guy around either, but this indecipherable garbage doesn't belong here or anywhere else, except maybe r/ComedyCemetery.

What even is this? I like you and respect you, Zaka, at least more than OP, but I really think whatever this is should have died in your discord server and remained buried there.

I apologise if I'm coming across as aggressive here, I really don't mean to. But first that guy with the dying dog and the salsa, now this... 

I have no idea what a sad distressing heart-rending pathetic person you have to be in order to interfere with a personal challenge announced publicly. Get a life.

 

6 minutes ago, Zakamutt said:

Look, you just don't get how beautiful it is. Here, let me sing it for you.

I'd love to see you sing like this after I decimate your fucking ass in uno. 

[Yuuko]

I like bois

[Narcosis]

Certain games can be quite... dangerous.

[Zakamutt]

Ah, who were you, my child? My love? My companion? Through the darkness I walked and You used to be the light of my life. Now, that night is finally gone, so does the light, disappearing with the dawning.

I've always been bothered by this line in your sig. As thanks for replying to a silly shitpost, here's an attempt at an edit:

Ah, who were you – my child, my love, my companion? While I wandered the darkness you were the light of my life, but when morning came at last you disappeared, fading into the rays of dawn.

[babiker]

What has Fuwa become

[Narcosis]

12 minutes ago, Zakamutt said:

Ah, who were you, my child? My love? My companion? Through the darkness I walked and You used to be the light of my life. Now, that night is finally gone, so does the light, disappearing with the dawning.

I've always been bothered by this line in your sig. As thanks for replying to a silly shitpost, here's an attempt at an edit:

Ah, who were you – my child, my love, my companion? While I wandered the darkness you were the light of my life, but when morning came at last you disappeared, fading into the rays of dawn.

You're making me feel embarrassed.

O-okay, you've won.... this time.

[Funyarinpa]

I thought half the people in this thread had been gone from fuwa for like 2 years

[babiker]

Just now, Funyarinpa said:

I thought half the people in this thread had been gone from fuwa for like 2 years

I more or less was, only through discord have I returned to grace the land

[hsmsful]

3 hours ago, Kiriririri said:

I like bois

I'd really appreciate it if you didn't try derailing my thread by talking about your own sexuality which I don't think anyone really cares about at this point. 

1 hour ago, Zakamutt said:

As thanks for replying to a silly shitpost

So first YOU FUCKING INSULT ME ALL NIGHT THEN YOU FUCKING KILL MY MAHMOOD THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO IGNORE MY CHALLENGE AND LEAVE IT UNANSWERED AND FINALLY YOU FUCKING CALL THIS A SILLY SHITPOST? 

What a disgrace to humanity you are! In fact, are you even human at this point? You have truly lost the essence of humanity. What a disturbing sight to behold.... 

1 hour ago, Funyarinpa said:

I thought half the people in this thread had been gone from fuwa for like 2 years

I am always here as

I can be your hero baby

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

[Chewy]

1 hour ago, Funyarinpa said:

I thought half the people in this thread had been gone from fuwa for like 2 years

Correct

[Thyndd]

I feel like I accidentally stepped into the underworld and saw some things no human being should ever witness 

[Ranzo]

 

Two boys face each other at the edge of oblivion, fiercely illuminated by the dawns morning glow. Once, they might have called each other comrade, friend, lover. Now, they only call each other one word, enemy. One outcome is certain, when the final rays of light are extinguished only one will be left standing. The other, will be left in the elements to rot, a testament to mans savage and bestial nature. Also, they will represent failure since they lost like a lil' puss.

 

[MaggieROBOT]

Sooooo, hsmsful won by default? 17 hours later and still no blood (in uno)!

Or is it not enough if he doesn't make Zaka suffer (in uno) for insulting him all night, fucking kill his mahmood, having the audacity to ignore his challenge and leave it unanswered, calling this a silly shitpost, making a gay poem, singing it, editing some unrelated quote, orchestrating some salsa related death and then vanishing from the thread?

[Ranzo]

Of course the match ends in disappointment much like my first sexual encounter

[hsmsful]

I am extremely disappointed at Zaka's cowardice really and I would have loved to humiliate him publicly on uno to the degree that he would be too ashamed to even show his face on the forums. Sadly this doesn't seem to be happening. However I will never forget the sins you have committed, Zaka. And you will pay for them eventually, whether you like it or not. My Mahmood can't rip in his grave without being avenged. And trust me, he will be avenged. 

[Zakamutt]

41 minutes ago, hsmsful said:

I am extremely disappointed at Zaka's cowardice really and I would have loved to humiliate him publicly on uno to the degree that he would be too ashamed to even show his face on the forums. Sadly this doesn't seem to be happening. However I will never forget the sins you have committed, Zaka. And you will pay for them eventually, whether you like it or not. My Mahmood can't rip in his grave without being avenged. And trust me, he will be avenged. 

sorry I got a fever my boi

fuckin annoying too I was hoping to like, do things

rip

but not your dog I guess

[hsmsful]

10 hours ago, Zakamutt said:

sorry I got a fever my boi

fuckin annoying too I was hoping to like, do things

rip

but not your dog I guess

Ha ha super funny

And you still refuse to answer my challenge. Do you think you can just casually use your fever as an excuse? You will atone for your sins sooner or later and I will make sure that happens, whether you like it or not.