NSAID Posted December 13, 2020 Posted December 13, 2020 (edited) Hewwo! I just recently learn to make visual novel (OELVN) and I hope this is the good place to share my works and get some feedback. My newly released project is ALLBLACK Phase 1, and while it's not really your typical VN, I really appreciate if you interested to read it I am also freelance artist in the free time while not working in any projects, feel free to reach me on Discord if you need me! Thanks before! Edited December 13, 2020 by NSAID grammar sucks Plk_Lesiak 1 Quote
Darbury Posted December 13, 2020 Posted December 13, 2020 Welcome to Fuwa! Always glad to see creators putting new material out there. One friendly suggestion: have a native English reader go through your script. While I haven't played the full VN yet, your Steam screenshots have enough anguished English in them ("I look at the both of my hands", "despite the sky is still shrouded") that it might easily dissuade someone from downloading/playing the game. You've clearly put a lot of work into this, so it's worth the extra effort to make sure that readers can fully immerse themselves in the world you've created. Plk_Lesiak 1 Quote
NSAID Posted December 13, 2020 Author Posted December 13, 2020 Thanks for the feedback! It's true that both the writer and me aren't native speaker of English, but I already asked someone else to proofread it. Granted because this is a free project (unpaid), I can't really ask professional help. Quote
Plk_Lesiak Posted December 13, 2020 Posted December 13, 2020 Wait, what, @Darburyjust quietly sneaked back on the site after being AWOL for 4 years? What a weird timeline we got thrown into... Ekhm, sorry, Welcome to Fuwa @NSAID! Your project definitely looks interesting and different. I'll try to give it a go and leave some feedback on Steam in near future. Quote
Darbury Posted December 13, 2020 Posted December 13, 2020 (edited) Yeah, I got a bad batch of gas station sushi and ended up in a medically induced coma for the past four years. Just woke up this morning. Anything interesting happen while I was out? Can’t wait to finally see how Game of Thrones ends... @NSAID: I totally get the low/no budget dilemma. Been there, done that, got the off-brand t-shirt. Maybe just tack it on your v2.0 to-do list? Edited December 13, 2020 by Darbury Plk_Lesiak and Funnerific 2 Quote
NSAID Posted December 15, 2020 Author Posted December 15, 2020 Thanks for the warm welcome ^_^ I think there are a lot variety of OELVNs now, also a lot of creators! Also do you have any idea, is there any website that specifically reviews OELVN or VNs in general through submission? It might be a good start to seek feedback. Quote
littleshogun Posted December 17, 2020 Posted December 17, 2020 (edited) Welcome to Fuwanovel and sorry for the belated greeting. Since I can't say much in regard of OELVN, no much that I can say other than good luck on developing the rest of the phases (ie chapters) and I hope that you'll enjoy yourself here. Edited December 17, 2020 by littleshogun Quote
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