"Officer, I can explain!"

[Aniki]

A police officer has pulled you over. In the back seat are three items, which the previous person to you had listed. You have to convince the police officer that you are not up to any dastardly deeds.

I have nothing in my trunk, since no one posted before me.

The next person has: A shovel, a dead body, and piles of illegal drugs.

[Kaguya]

Officer, I can explain this! I just bought the shovel to take care of my garden, the dead body is a thief that entered my house and tried to kill me, and the drugs are from him.

 

Sulfur mustard, strong sleep medication (the type you need to have a recipe to buy) and industrial anthrax.

[FruitsPunchSamurai]

Officer, I can explain this! This Mustard Gas is just something i found on the ground, the strong sleep medication is for my wife who just won't shut the hell up, and this inflamation all over my arm? Just caught some anthrax recently and am very very sick. 

 

A camera filled with child pornography, a bloody knife, and date rape drugs.

[Aniki]

No! Officer! Don't open-
The officer opens the trunk, and all the contents escape. The officer inhales all of them.
Eh... Time to escape.

Damn the mobile view. It doesn't update. Well, this is for Kaguya-kun's list.

I can explain. That's not child pornography. They just look really young. I picked up that knife and drugs from sime hitchhiker who attempted to kill me.


A gallon of petroleum, a WW2-era flamethrower, and a set of C4 explosives.

[Life]

Please officer... I work for the army and i'm just came back to visit my daughter.

 

Scissors,dead Body,Marked Map

[monkeysrumble]

Officer, I can explain this. I just bought a pair of scissors when my relative collapsed on the ground. I tried to take them to the hospital but they passed away in the car. The marked map is from an old road trip I did a few years ago.

 

Tied up girl, leather whip, video camera. 

[Okami]

Officier you see this 5000$ in my wallet they are yours aren't they?

 

2 dead little girls, pictures of pornografy of those two girls, and a bloody ax.

[Aniki]

Officer, I'm from the MI6. We found the two long-lost victims we've been looking for. We've also found the murder weapon, but we never found the suspect.

 

A katana, full samurai armour, and a box full of severed heads.

[Nagisa_Fawkes]

Officer, I can explain! Turn out I'm a big fan of Samurai movies, so I wanted to try it myself! Oh don't worry about the severed heads, they're a bunch of criminals that I picked up from the slums, I'm sure you don't mind that.

 

A whip, a tiep up girl without clothes, and a dildo with spikes.

[Zakamutt]

I'm a Japanese culture enthusiast. I've got a permit for the sword, the armor isn't prohibited anyway, and these are shrunken heads. Kind of gross, I know.

 

Your trunk contains 3 RPGs, a white shirt with a print of the word "MILETERY", and a vast collection of loli doujins with rather explicit covers.

 

EDIT: well fuck. Hi aniki.

[Aniki]

EDIT: well fuck. Hi aniki.

Hi.

[krill]

of course officer i can explain this see, the rocket propelled grenades are for gopher hunting ,REALLY BIG GOPHERS! when i hunt i dont wanna be mistaken for a giant gopher you see thats where the white shirt comes in not only are gophers not white they can be easily attracted by spelling errors hence the screwed up spelling on the shirt and as for the loli doujin i like having something to read  while waiting to explode gophers.

 

next person : lunch boxes full of human fingers, a blood covered cosplay outfit of mickey mouse and  a soda bottle filled with vitreous humor  

[Flutterz]

Officer, I can explain! These aren't actual human fingers, they're just props for my upcoming halloween party, just like the costume! As for the soda bottle, that's totally not vitreous humour inside, it's just lube which someone has poured into a soda can for some reason.

 

The next person has a bloodied knife, a dead body and a camera with a video of them killing the person in their trunk with the knife.

[Aniki]

Officer, we're actually filming right now. If you could just stop inter-

Oh? You don't think we're filming? You see that camera over there?

*Officer looks at where I'm pointing*

*I hit the gas and escape.*

See you in the theatre~

 

A car, the coffin of Charlemagne, and a Polish WW2 uniform.

[monkeysrumble]

Officer, I'm actually a historian and I was delivering these historic artifacts to the local museum.

 

A time machine, some hippies and Hitler.

[Life]

Officer, I just wanted to convert Hitler into a hippie and create peace instead of letting the guy start the attempt the holocaust.

 

Your clone tied up, Stove, Huge meat grinder

[Flutterz]

Don't worry officer, I just wanted to eat my meat.

 

Several armed terrorists, a bomb and Obama.

[Aniki]

Officer, I have discovered the headless horseman's head in an old mansion. I have also discovered the dead little girl in the mansion devoid of clothing along with the box of used condoms. Now, I shall find that headless horseman and put an head to his headlessness once and for all.

*Steps on gas and sets off to find the headless horseman*

 

A Russian PTRD Anti-tank Rifle, a WW2-era Russian uniform, several posters of communist propaganda.

[ohiowar]

Officer, I am delivering this communist propaganda to the CIA so it can be lit on fire to avoid it turning anyone into a communist. This propaganda, PTRD Anti-tank Rifle, and uniform have nothing to due with my plan to carry out an attack on the country in the name of Soviet communism and I am not a communist. I am a god fearing right wing american who would never do anything in the name of communism. Go USA!

 

A loli, video camera, and a rope 

[Life]

Officer, she only looks young but she is of age and agreed to this.

 

Poison, Key to a dam, knife

[Guest]

This is not poison, these are chemicals to clean up the mechanical system in the dam I'm working at. As for the knife, well, it's an inoffensive Swiss knife.

 

A bondage teddybear, rainbow dash and boxes of brussel sprouts.

[DimDito]

What's wrong officer? It's by daughter's 18th birthday.

I'd like to resurrect this game...

 

A bear suit, 2 children, and a ceramic statue of Nicholas Cage's head.

[Mr Poltroon]

Yes, officer? Ah, those are my children, they're twins and it's their birthday today. I brought the bear suit for their party. The head? That's for the "Teaching children about actors" segment. I wanna make sure everyone learns about these great people at the party. After all, they both want to grow up to be actors! *fake smile*

 

Loads of cigarettes, 10 thousand (currency), 10 thousand (counterfeit money)

[satoshikyouma]

hello officer,what seems to be the problem? oh these cigarettes? I'm a heavy smoker! do you have a problem with that?

the real and fake money? pfft......I'm discussing with people about a subject called "difference between real money and a fake one"

do you understand sir? XD

 

4 "real but look like fake" shotguns,a briefcase containing hundreds of dollars,and a robbers suit for robbing banks of something like that....

XD

 

 

hope all of you understand T^T 

[Zodai]

We're pulling a prank on a friend tonight.

 

A group of naked children, 10,000 various office supplies, and a fire breathing dragon.