H-scene clichés

[Zakamutt]

For all my fapping to h, I am a bit tired of just how formulaic they are. I figured I'd make one of them bingo thingies for h scenes. Feel free to suggest replacement standard phrases for defloration / simultaneous orgasm.

[Nagisa_Fawkes]

MC: Don't swallow that!

Girl: It's okay, it's from <MC name> after all.

 

Girl after the MC orgasm: Ippai... atsui...

[Narcosis]

Another few, notable examples:

"Let me show you my awesome magical powers!"

"It won't stop! My imperial juice won't stop!"

"And with this, I took X/Y/Z's virginity."

"If you continue to suck it like this, I'll- explode!"

You also forgot about the most traditional one:

"I'm coming!!!11"

Japanese sure are funny.

[Nosebleed]

For all my fapping to h, I am a bit tired of just how formulaic they are. I figured I'd make one of them bingo thingies for h scenes. Feel free to suggest replacement standard phrases for defloration / simultaneous orgasm.

My morning has been made, i laughed way too hard. Although this is the formula for the first scene, you can't forget the mandatory oral sex scene thst always comes after.

[Guest]

The expression I hate the most would be "the most honest part of my body".... what ... ._.

When I read that, I just imagine the writer as the biggest perv on earth.

 

Well in all honesty I... Oh wait i'm not honest right now.

[Vokoca]

These phrases might still be better than Akatsuki no Goei's h-scenes (mainly in the last instalment), which always devolved into just "Aa aaA aAaa Aaa aaa---" for the last twenty lines or so. They didn't even bother with writing anything else, or any sort of narration - it was just that for the last third of a lot of h in that VN. Well, they did at least manage to make them important for the plot in certain cases.

[Nosebleed]

The expression I hate the most would be "the most honest part of my body".... what ... ._.

When I read that, I just imagine the writer as the biggest perv on earth.

 

Well in all honesty I... Oh wait i'm not honest right now.

Because saying <respective reproductive organ> is not as deep and emotional.

Though i also really hate expressions like that.

[Seath]

My morning has been made, i laughed way too hard. Although this is the formula for the first scene, you can't forget the mandatory oral sex scene thst always comes after.

Apparently in Japan it is proper sex etiquette to clean up afterwards.

[Nosebleed]

The VN H-scene thread was getting  a bit off topic but instead of hiding the posts I thought it'd make for an interesting thread and moved them here. You may continue the discussion here.

 

Basically the main topic is: traits that appear very commonly in a lot of h-scenes.

[Narcosis]

I see what you did there.

One of the most hillarious things, which actually always make me laugh during most h-scenes is the fact that most male protagonists are born machos with dicks wider than their arms, capable of gushing out incredible ammounts of semen, to the point that some of the more "intelligent" eroge actually turn that into self-induced jokes.

The biggest joke though is that whole legions of japanese otaku are basically taking their sex education out of it.

Not sure whether to laugh, or cry.

[Nosebleed]

They also have multiple orgasms in a short span of time which is physically impossible due to the human body's phisiology.

 

The creatures in eroge which we often refer to as male protagonists have a portal to a different dimension in their genitals that allows for unlimited storage of fluids. They also deny negative feedback in their brains which allows for multiple orgasms. They are not human.

[Monmon]

The chances of experiencing an orgasm the very first time you have sex may be low. However every h-scene when they did it for the first time, the heroines always had an orgasm, multiple times too.

[monkeysrumble]

"There's no part of you that's dirty".

 

I have read this line too many damn times. Sometimes I think they are just copying from each other and just adding in h-scenes to sell the game.

 

Wait a minute...

[Chronopolis]

Some one needs to abridge an h-scene and phrase it completely in bombastic metaphors.

[Ashadow700]

Every time I play an h-game from here on out, I'm gonna make sure to have this sheet nearby, just to see how many squares I can pick of. 

[yashasupercow]

Damee~~~.yamete~~

[Silvz]

hmm tentacles?

[Monmon]

hmm tentacles?

Some1 finally said it.....

[mr0cheese]

For all my fapping to h, I am a bit tired of just how formulaic they are. I figured I'd make one of them bingo thingies for h scenes. Feel free to suggest replacement standard phrases for defloration / simultaneous orgasm.

I...I just can't. My sides are in pain right now, I'm laughing so hard. Greatest thing in the world to come home to after a day's work. I'm pretty sure I've seen all of these in every single H-scene I've read where it's their first time too...

[AceAttorney]

"My hips are moving on their own!"

[OriginalRen]

What if the protagonist actually responded to the "You can't, stop!" during sex and then the girl was like "Oh...I didn't expect you to actually stop..." and then he lost interest and their relationship spiraled downward at an alarming rate.

[Katatsumuri]

The way that all fellatio scenes are so generic that they seem copy-pasted?

[Zephryion]

X's Route:

X: I'm sorry my oppai are too small

MC: Don't worry, flat is justice!

 

Y's Route:

Y: Do you like my big oppai?

MC: I LOVE THEM.

 

Coincidence?

[Vokoca]

I was reading more totono, when a certain seemingly experienced character turned out to be a virgin in a h-scene anyway; and when confronted with that fact, the response was:

 

"All heroines are virgins."

 

_{...she knows!}

[Narcosis]

What if the protagonist actually responded to the "You can't, stop!" during sex and then the girl was like "Oh...I didn't expect you to actually stop..." and then he lost interest and their relationship spiraled downward at an alarming rate.

Realistic sex scene based on mutual relations? In my eroge?

IMPOSSIBRU