Fuwanovel Confessions

[Valmore]

Confession: if you don't respond to this post, I'll feel like my existence hasn't been validated. NOTICE ME! o.0

*I still love you.

[Yuuko]

Confession: if you don't respond to this post, I'll feel like my existence hasn't been validated. NOTICE ME! o.0

*I still love you.

[Mr Poltroon]

Filthy American. I guarantee that the proper way is Maths.

Am I reading this right? Let me put on my glasseses.

Are you poking fun at me? Because that isn't how you spell "spectacles".

[Valmore]

Confession: if you don't respond to this post, I'll feel like my existence hasn't been validated. NOTICE ME! o.0

*I still love you.

*Tries to get mad... can't*

[Down]

That said, trying to do my physics homework for once (wow) and I'm utterly fucking stuck on a completely trivial-seeming question. I feel like an idiot. Funny thing is I want to study physics (quantum or astrophysics, recently heard about philosophy of physics which sounds amazing). 

I'm studying quantum physics and I still get stuck on trivial problems sometimes. It just happens. Usually the right method is to drop it momentarily and come back to it a few hours/days later and it'll all seem easy.

PS: philosophy of physics is very interesting from the little I know about it but good luck ever landing a job in that field. Quantum physics on the other hand offers tons of possibilities... (too bad I decided to try out doing an internship in lab astrophysics this year... /life decisions)

[Funyarinpa]

That said, trying to do my physics homework for once (wow) and I'm utterly fucking stuck on a completely trivial-seeming question. I feel like an idiot. Funny thing is I want to study physics (quantum or astrophysics, recently heard about philosophy of physics which sounds amazing). 

I'm studying quantum physics and I still get stuck on trivial problems sometimes. It just happens. Usually the right method is to drop it momentarily and come back to it a few hours/days later and it'll all seem easy.

PS: philosophy of physics is very interesting from the little I know about it but good luck ever landing a job in that field. Quantum physics on the other hand offers tons of possibilities... (too bad I decided to try out doing an internship in lab astrophysics this year... /life decisions)

You're kinda living my dream (quantum + astrophysics)

Happy for you! I've heard that astrophysics is hugely competitive too. Is that true?

[Down]

Astrophysics certainly is afaik. However what I'm doing is slightly different, lab astrophysics consists in trying to reproduce space conditions (in that case interstellar conditions: ~10K temperature, ultra-high void and extreme UV radiation) in a lab, to better understand what astrophysicists (those who acquire data through satellites and do a lot of theory) obtain in their measurements, and help them make better simulation models.

I'm an experimentalist, much more than a theorist, so that suits me better. I've never done actual astrophysics, that would have required me to do a different curriculum than what I did (and I wouldn't have been doing quantum physics/quantum optics).

And I'm not sure whether that field will suit me or not, which is why I'm trying it out in an internship. I might go back to quantum optics when PhD time comes.

[Zodai]

Astrophysics certainly is afaik. However what I'm doing is slightly different, lab astrophysics consists in trying to reproduce space conditions (in that case interstellar conditions: ~10K temperature, ultra-high void and extreme UV radiation) in a lab, to better understand what astrophysicists (those who acquire data through satellites and do a lot of theory) obtain in their measurements, and help them make better simulation models.

I'm an experimentalist, much more than a theorist, so that suits me better. I've never done actual astrophysics, that would have required me to do a different curriculum than what I did (and I wouldn't have been doing quantum physics/quantum optics).

And I'm not sure whether that field will suit me or not, which is why I'm trying it out in an internship. I might go back to quantum optics when PhD time comes.

Science is fun.  Not the field I'm best at, but those kinds of logic tests can do a man well, at least once you get past the subpar education system like the one here in the US.

[Valmore]

Reading reading reading... reading reading reading...

[Funyarinpa]

Astrophysics certainly is afaik. However what I'm doing is slightly different, lab astrophysics consists in trying to reproduce space conditions (in that case interstellar conditions: ~10K temperature, ultra-high void and extreme UV radiation) in a lab, to better understand what astrophysicists (those who acquire data through satellites and do a lot of theory) obtain in their measurements, and help them make better simulation models.

I'm an experimentalist, much more than a theorist, so that suits me better. I've never done actual astrophysics, that would have required me to do a different curriculum than what I did (and I wouldn't have been doing quantum physics/quantum optics).

And I'm not sure whether that field will suit me or not, which is why I'm trying it out in an internship. I might go back to quantum optics when PhD time comes.

I see. Well I'm much more of a theorist myself. Thanks for explaining.

[Down]

I see. Well I'm much more of a theorist myself. Thanks for explaining.

Haha, that's what I thought when I was in high-school/first years of college =p

I don't think you can really decide that kind of things before you set your feet in a lab for the first time, or before you've had an idea of what a theorist's activity implies.

[Flutterz]

Confession: I just spooked myself real hard. Had to pretty much pull my computer apart to replace the thermal paste as that's the last thing I can possibly imagine is causing the semi-daily BSoDs I get (if it turns out that didn't fix it I just give up) and I forgot to plug in one of the power cables into the motherboard so when I pressed the power button it would power up for a second and turn off. I was worried my computeroni was RIP in pepperoni.

[Abyssal Monkey]

Confession: I just spooked myself real hard. Had to pretty much pull my computer apart to replace the thermal paste as that's the last thing I can possibly imagine is causing the semi-daily BSoDs I get (if it turns out that didn't fix it I just give up) and I forgot to plug in one of the power cables into the motherboard so when I pressed the power button it would power up for a second and turn off. I was worried my computeroni was RIP in pepperoni.

Was it the 4 pin plug on the board? The one generally in the top left?

Yeah, me and my friend forgot the exact same thing upon testing the board he just bought before we socketed and mounted everything. Turns on for a second or so, then right back down.

I honestly can't imagine it being paste though. If you are Intel, the processor will automatically undervolt to prevent excessive heat buildup.  I've never had a BSoD due to overheating in my laptop even when my processor managed to melt my keyboard ribbon.

[Yuuko]

Source, plz? 

https://vndb.org/v16070 I'm sorry, it's only in Japanese  

[Nashetania]

Koutsuki Kanna is the best grill

[Flutterz]

 Was it the 4 pin plug on the board? The one generally in the top left?

Yeah, me and my friend forgot the exact same thing upon testing the board he just bought before we socketed and mounted everything. Turns on for a second or so, then right back down.

I honestly can't imagine it being paste though. If you are Intel, the processor will automatically undervolt to prevent excessive heat buildup.  I've never had a BSoD due to overheating in my laptop even when my processor managed to melt my keyboard ribbon.

It was the 4x2, if that's what you mean.

It's a long shot, but if that's not it I honestly have no idea. Checked the memory, checked the SSD that has my system on it, checked the HDDs, checked the GPU, reinstalled Windows (which only reduced the frequency somewhat)... everything seems to work perfectly except when it BSoDs for no reason.

[Yuuko]

Koutsuki Kanna is the best grill

I'm sorry.......

Techincally NSFW https://gyazo.com/ddb95c2edab253b38e87dadfe9b3cdc7

Edited December 15, 2015 by Kiriririri
Aww....

[Yuuko]

I'm sorry.......

Hidden Content

Ehhh...that's technically NSFW.  Would you mind linking to it instead of embedding it, please?

Damn somehow I knew this would happen  Should have used the other pic...

[Nashetania]

Koutsuki Kanna is the best grill

I'm sorry.......

Hidden Content

 

I hope it gets translated

[Kaguya]

Confession: I kinda wanna have a fuwa pairing again~

[Shikomizue]

Confession: I really want to see a fanfic of Kosaki and I for some reason...

[Kosakyun]

/snip

I was wondering where the faggot went. Any intention of staying for the holidays, or are you gonna burn out again?

I'll be staying. I don't spam topics anymore though. <3

I won't be that active, but I'll be around in the second sem too. I'm still not used to the 'My Content' missing, after all. 

Would you believe me if I said that I looked at Fuwa today, sighed, and said to myself: "I miss Kosaki"? xD 

I missed people here too, so I came back after being too busy. I can't neglect promoting faggotry in this site, after all. It's hard to promote it again once it dies. <3

 Yay! Kosaki the Dead has returned!

Shiko pls

So I heard we're a thing now----

Are you any better at Osu yet?

It hurts, Kenshin. It really does. ;-;

I haven't touched the game in forever. I suck even more now.

I have a new mouse though. <3

Stay dead for another 2 years pls, I'M ALMOST CAUGHT UP ON POST COUNT

Also, go look for yourself in a certain magical Thanksgiving thread and tell me what you think :3

Wow. You haven't caught up yet?

I guess the site change really does discourage spamming.

Also, I'll get to that. I still suck at searching threads. <3 <3 <3  

 I think everyone misses kosaki, it's normal

I was wondering where you buggered off to!  Glad to see you're back  <3

<3 <3 <3

Confession: I don't like how hard it is to format quotes in quotes now. Or I'm just being me and not knowing how to do it easily again.

Also,

Confession 2: Because of theater activities, I've been forced to see all kinds of people in their underwear because of costume changes. It lacks the thrill that the characters feel in shows. I've been lied to.

[Fred the Barber]

I see. Well I'm much more of a theorist myself. Thanks for explaining.

Haha, that's what I thought when I was in high-school/first years of college =p

I don't think you can really decide that kind of things before you set your feet in a lab for the first time, or before you've had an idea of what a theorist's activity implies.

Yeah... I have a feeling this is true of all professions, but physics is certainly one of those things where you have no idea what it involves until you do it professionally. My old roommate is a theorist (I guess you'd categorize his field as condensed matter? I think he spends most of his time doing stuff related to crystal scectroscopy or something...); meanwhile, I'm a software developer. Nonetheless, I'm pretty sure he spends a lot more time writing code than I do. And he certainly writes more Fortran than I do (which is to say a lot vs. none).

From what I heard from the people doing astrophysics in college, probably the easiest way now to be doing useful work in that field especially is to become a good software developer - astrophysicists have big data problems like you wouldn't believe. And physicists in general seem to have this weird belief that they know how to write software, so if, unlike most physicists, you actually do know how to write software, it's a good choice. But naturally, all of that will get you nowhere unless you also know all the... you know... physics. Which will take you all of 4 years in university and then 5 years in grad school and then a post-doc for a year or two and... So, good luck there, Down! I'll just be over here making money.

 

Confession: Every day I say "I'll take care of that" at least 10 times, and then I completely forget at least 1 of them. It makes me feel like crap; responsibility is probably the trait I value most in people, and lately I feel like I'm not making the grade on my own standards. I'm sure this probably sounds like a simple problem, but I'm used to relying on my (excellent) memory, and I think I've just got too much on my plate these days for my brain to handle. I need to rework my habits, probably in some small way, but changing habits is hard.

[hsmsful]

Welcome Back,Kosaki! The place feels dull without our lovable faggot <'3 

Confession: I am going to rant for a big while about my own insignificant problems in life so you are advised to avoid it if you don't wanna read a lot:

I am happy with my life or more like I should be happy with my life. I don't need to work as my parents can provide me with literally everything I want. I am well-respected at school by my friends thou I know they literally condemn me. Now to hear my problems, I would have to say I am not a hard worker, I don't like to work hard, I don't like to work at all, that's what makes me stand out between all my friends who get good grades, as I have been gifted with a slightly better ability to concentrate and understand things , that's why I am usually able to finish things quicker when it comes to academics as long as it's not something with many details as programming thou  . Anyways moving on , my friends have always condemned me for that, the people who tried to catch up to me and didn't , hell one of them left the school because he didn't bear to stay in the same school as me. Those who were always told that I play almost 24/7 and still manage to get the best grades in the whole class were mad at me and when I went out in outings where the whole class participated in , they would verbally tell me to stay away from them and that I am not allowed to play with them so granted I didn't have friends at all. I only had acquaintances and people who considered me friends due to benefits , you know these people who call you a lot during school year and forget about you in summer. Moving on, due to my gift , I was able to be generally good at school subjects, not specifically good at one or bad at other. That made the choice of my future career really hard since I really don't like anything since I don't like to work at all. I enjoy doing anything as long as it doesn't have to do with pure language study. Fuck phonetics btw. 

I didn't know whether to go to the maths department in highschool or science, so I decided to follow my parents' wishes and I now aim to be a doctor, things are going pretty well. However my parents have been touching on that weak point I have , even thou my grades are usually near perfect, I keep thinking that I did less studying than others and I become worried about whether or not this will succeed every time. My parents want me to study more just because they are parents and because they fear about my poor health, I am the kind who can easily get a cold from an all-nighter so their worries are actually fitting their place. Recently since many of my friends succeeded in getting scholarships abroad, I have been searching for one but was I actually searching? No, I was just checking sites for 2-3 hours and now that the time to apply to unis is near, I just dropped the whole subject saying I would just not get one. Why was I telling that to myself? To convince myself that the reason is not my incompetence, my anxiety and most of all my laziness. Getting a scholarship where I should get A+ or A in college terrify me , I don't even wanna find them. My parents are not rich enough to be able to provide me with pure money to study without a scholarship. I don't know how harder college is than highschool, might get 99-100% scores in highschool and then get 80% in college. So in the end, I was like then lemme try a first semester in a public college (here in Egypt which isn't that bad as it is still in the best 500 unis in the world so it's kinda meh?) and see whether or not I would actually succeed in getting one. My masturbating habits have been getting out of hand recently which is starting to pain my balls, it's not just me getting addicted anymore, it's more like my relieving my stress and anxiety, I think I did talk about me wanting to get a friend for benefits in the future. It goes along the same lines of relieving my stress and anxiety without having to deal with an extra source of one aka relationships. Maybe I also want someone to notice my efforts and relieve me by saying I actually am doing enough and I should be satisfied regardless of what my inner self and my parents think? I also have that superiority issue which I didn't notice it till this year, I just wanna be superior at all times, is it because I became used to first place that I can't let go of it? Probably yeah, I like the popularity, privileges and prestige I get at school due to getting the best grade every year. But no one understands my problem, in fact most of my "friends" irl made fun of me saying "you sound like a guy who has no problems in life but is making up ones". Well sorry I don't have a girl whose heart I crushed or with who I wanna go out with. My parents? They are like ok now go study most of the time , they just told me that they themselves don't get the problem but they believe that if I work harder, I will find the answers. But I don't wanna work hard~ Laziness might be the one causing most of my problems. So ever since I got in highschool , negative feelings have been getting together inside of me, loneliness, me looking down on others and myself, depression and inability to pleasure myself for a long period of time aka become genuinely happy not just someone happy because he's playing a game. 

I have been getting into more and more fights with my parents, to the point where I caused their blood pressure to rise on numerous occasions , I also started slowly but surely looking down on people and their problems and what they are doing with their lives more apparent. For instance, now if someone would come to tell me he has a problem with his love life, I just tell him things along the lines : maybe if you got A instead of C , you would be making yourself and your family a service instead of thinking about how to solve this relationship problem which won't even continue till college cause neither of you guys want that and you are just satisfying your libidos and having fun together. Hint : he rarely talks to me now. 

The only merit I have in my life is that I get good grades which has been making me more anxious during exams, I am afraid to get bad grades, I feel like I will become a nobody and I am afraid of that. My nerves are nearly breaking down from the stress and fapping away my problems, maybe overmasturbation harms your nervous system or something? I am not sure. And I don't seem to care about that either because I know if I stopped, I will be in a worse shape. I thought I was going right with my life but I feel that I went wrong so much with my life. Were they huge fuck ups? No in fact even now they can be described as trivial ones. But they had made living a problem for me so what's the solution? I don't know but I have a feeling inside me that I know where the problem is and how to solve it and I am just tricking myself to think I have no answer for no reason at all.  I am also an attention whore irl , that's actually one of the reasons I always wanted to be superior and refused to accept otherwise, my parents would describe as being really narcissistic.

In fact, there are some incidents that have happened recently which my parents really describe me as such: 1-The English teacher makes a trip for the first 100 from about 1k people , I got like 25th ish last month but it was due to a mistake in correction of the exam and I went there but I felt like a nobody and I didn't enjoy it. The next month, I actually became the first I came up with an excuse to convince myself that I don't need to go there then during the lesson , he asked who was and was not going and he was astonished when he found that I wasn't going and tried to convince me. Granted I wouldn't have enjoyed it either but him talking about me in front of all class and them knowing about who I was and that I got the best grade from 1000 people and such made me feel pleasure so maybe my parents are right? This is how they would describe what happened at least. 2-In the french lesson , the teacher only gives money to the first and second places, I got second place last month and got first this month and no one else did at all, this made me feel much happier. 

Writing down problems does make you feel slightly better. You guys should try it from time to time. I am also really sorry for writing such a long rant

[Valmore]

Confession: completely ignorant as to what a Fuwa pairing is.