Leaderboard

Using translated VNs as a model to improve your writing is probably a bad idea. Most releases employ literal translations by translators and editors who aren't professional fiction writers. Using OELVNs as a model won't be much better since, again, most groups don't employ professional fiction writers. You're probably better off reading popular fiction novels, honestly.

Haruka is a funny game. I love Alicesoft as a company in general. http://reviews.fuwanovel.net/2016/04/05/beat-blades-haruka/ This is my first post as part of the fuwa reviews team. How did you like it?

I did say this thread was a terrible idea in the BM forums... Still, to some extent, the purpose of this was to contain offtopic rants about moderation in a single thread rather than letting it happen all over the forums - and there's not much point in it if we don't let people rant to their heart's content. I appreciate all types of feedback - good or bad - so long as they reflect what the members are thinking. When it gets to name-calling, that's a no-no and I'd consider banning someone for it (at the very least, I'd talk to them and hide the posts.) Wasn't watching the thread too closely, though. I figured there'd be enough moderation around here and that I wouldn't have to do anything about it. Guess that was wrong, huh. Sorry for that. Should've paid some more attention. On the topic of banning, temp bans are a little slap to the wrist. They're a way of saying "don't do that". There's no reason to actually ban someone it if the person is going to tone down - oftentimes it just serves to make members saltier and angrier, which is a terrible result. As you said, there are very real people behind your computer screen - you can actually make them understand what type of site this is and how their behavior here should be through talking. Banning often has no result other than creating a troublemaker, lol. Obviously uncooperative types aside, I continue to think it's a really shitty method to stop people from being arses. Still, there are many ways to moderate the site, and none of them is obviously better than the other, in my opinion... Yours is fine, but I'd like you to keep in mind that I'm not soft because I'm lazy or because I want some lulz. I moderate the way I do precisely because I'm dealing with actual human beings.

A lot of people say the same thing – “writing VNs is quite different to writing novels.” I would say it’s a quarter truth. There ARE some differences, like having better and fuller control of where you end a screen, and less narration of external events due to background images, but the basics are the same, and 99% of what is needed to write VNs can be learnt better in the novel world than in the VN world. After which, you just apply different techniques to produce the same effects. For example: Question – with the ability to describe external events largely taken away through the use of background images and sprites, how would you slow down the pacing of a scene? Answer – You can still describe changes in the environment not revealed with static background images, or focus on internal dialogue. Question – But wouldn’t ADV format cut down on your ability to write long pieces of external narration, even if you could technically narrate changes in the environment? Answer – Most people get around this with either an ADV/NVL blend, OR a greater focus on internal dialogue which is, in essence, dialogue. These are applications of standard novel techniques. Dunno, I don’t really see the virtues to be honest . I can’t think of many prose techniques which stem from the Visual Novel landscape that I’d actually like to employ. Overuse of ellipses? Well you can do that with novels, but you actually learn more (and better) alternatives if you choose to read novels and not VNs. Timing is a little different due to the box/page thing, but eh, all that does is encourage the writer to use less prose, and that’s hardly a new technique. ADV does exclude the ‘he said,’ ‘she said’, lines … which is actually kinda irritating cause you can slot those words in the middle of a sentence to slow down the pacing: “I suppose,” she said, as she gazed out the window, "but I’d rather have the option.” As you can see, the pacing of the sentence has slowed using that interjection thingy. ADV cocks this up, but you can still get around it by selecting different techniques. I bet most VNs would use ellipses here: NameGoesHere: I suppose … but I’d rather have the option. It’s not like it’s a new or grand technique or anything. You’re more limited in what you can do, and you might choose different techniques to apply to VNs than what you would in novels, but what I’m trying to say is that learning to write novels gives you a more rounded writing education, imo. What writers actually need to learn from VNs is how you compose a narrative using pictures, but that won't help your prose any. Of course, a lot of prominent people disagree with me, but eh. I suppose that’s just another example of how there’s no ‘right or wrong’ in writing, I guess.

First thing to do - get away from VNs. I would wager the same rule applies for aspiring Japanese fiction writers also, VNs aren't the kind of place you find exceptional prose. If the prose in VNs were exceptional, they'd make a living off only that prose. Most authors start off mimicking their favourite writers ... kinda. It's a natural stage in a person's development as a writer and one of the first steps toward developing your own style. A person reads a lot to get an understanding of what works, what doesn't, what they enjoy, and how they pull that off. This includes mimicking stuff you think is awesome, and shunning stuff you find terrible. You're going to have to narrow it down. 'Exceptional' is a subjective term, it tends to differ from person to person. What you're really after is how writers build the sort of effects you want to create, in an effective manner, because different styles are created with an end effect in mind. Some authors use adjectives and adverbs so powerful that a single word is all it takes to produce a clear image. It should be noted that these adverbs and adjectives are often not in standard use and it takes someone with a pretty complete control over a language to do this. Someone with this sort of control (and it's rare) can create vivid images with short, punchy sentences. Some authors prefer a smooth, flowing, conversational style. Some authors seem to require the reader to hurl their novel across the room in frustration, and they'll craft complex sentences which are hard to decipher. Each style benefits from different techniques, which is why you read extensively when you're young so you have an understanding of different styles and the techniques used to create them. To be honest, if you're asking for examples at this stage it's an indication that either a) you haven't read enough or b) you haven't paid enough attention or thought enough about what you're reading. Then you go away and find authors whose style matches what you desire to create and you mimic, then you find other authors who do something slightly different and you mimic them also, then after a while you take the best points and you make your own style. However, nobody else can find this 'exceptional' prose for you, that's your homework as a writer. My heros are Pratchett, Adams, those kinds or writers. I also model my style off some romance novels cause I like a kind of flowing style (which you more often find in women authors.) During this process, I've learnt to identify stuff which is 'undesirable' to me, analysed what made it 'undesirable' and learnt to stay away from those practices. Nobody else could identify this stuff for me, it's a personal process because nobody knows what you like. Bad writing is always the same, making the same sorts of mistakes - however good writing is good in different ways. Different writers will give you theories, very few of these theories will be iron clad rules but most of these theories will be what works for them. It's hard to copy, because what works is different for different people. Your homework as a writer is to develop your own style through research and study. This is why everybody's first advice to writers is the same - 'read everything and read widely. After you think you've read everything, read some more.' ... Except for VNs. Don't read those. There are some OELVNs written by professional authors, but you'd be better off reading their books rather than their VNs. Studying prose in VNs will give you a limited education and appreciation of prose. Reading writing advice from different authors doesn't count - it's good as a supplementary material, but you need to think about stuff yourself. Good luck

The House in Fata Morgana: Demo Now Available! http://blog.mangagamer.org/2016/04/05/the-house-in-fata-morgana-demo-now-available/ https://vndb.org/v12402 From Black Dragon Hunt ask.fm, guy who was doing programming on this translation: I don't know much about this VN, but I felt in love with it from the first moment I saw screens and few tags on vndb months ago. Hopefully it is as good as I want it to be. Demo have only 246 MB, but it's supposed to be "beefy".

Well, obviously and as has been said before, if what you want is to get a taste of the range of possibilities of the english language, you're better off reading Nabokov, Woolf or Shakespeare than even the best translated VNs like Grisaia or Dra+Koi. But the thing is, and that's pretty obvious, you don't write a visual novel like you write a novel. Not that visual novels have bad prose or w/e, it's just that for two media with two different ways of delivering text, the approach to writing has to be different. In particular if your VN is going to be in ADV format. Therefore it would actually be good for you to read visual novels in order to see what kind of writing techniques are used. The issue is that I'm not sure there are really a lot of good samples in EVNs. There is definitely a whole range of available interesting prose and techniques in japanese VNs, but you don't write in japanese like you write in english either so it's all kinda useless to you. So yeah, idk. Maybe the best thing you could do is to read theater. Theatrics is probably what's closest to ADV dialogs. Reading great english prose books certainly can't hurt anyway. But contrary to previous advices I wouldn't say to avoid VNs, because you need to understand the medium you're using too.

Damn, this thread is intense. and im just here eating popcorn.

Hid 12 posts here... Please do realize that advocating what may very well be a crime is against the rules and can land you severe punishment (both in real life and here.)

The problem, is that writing for VNs is different than writing a book. I know that at least Dischan struggled with that for a while. As one of their writers was a good writer for books, but he didn't write in a way that accommodated VNs very well. When writing a visual novel, you have to take into account that audio and visuals will accompany the writing. In particular because of visuals, you don't need to describe things quite as much as your would for a book. Furthermore, how writing is presented is very important as well. Will you mostly use textboxs, or go for full screen text, or will you use a different style all together (Like how Narcissu and Swan Song use neither of the typical styles). If you present text differently, you can write differently. Swan Song is written more like a novel, and the way text is presented in that VN works with that. Swan Song would be a very different (a worse VN), if it used the same exact script but in textbox format. So the gist of my point is that simply being a good fiction writer for pure text media, won't necessarily make you a good VN writer. You need to see good writing in the medium you are planning to write for.

I found the writing in the review disjointed and difficult to follow, likely due to an overuse of hyphens and the convoluted way the words are organized. That's my main criticism. The content itself seems good. As for the game, the H-scenes and filler slice-of-life scenes (many even repeat multiple times) get tedious. I'm not much of a fan of multiple variations on the same basic H-scene. This design choice adds to the sense of repetition. I think this game would've benefited from an increased focus on gameplay and a smaller number of unique sex scenes that show actual character and relationship development. The Venus Blood series illustrates how such a balance can be achieved without making the game any less sexy.

@hsmsful@Dergonu@Zebhra@Funyarinpa Calling out some of the asmr squad.

I just fell in love with Kaguya-hime all over again

I never expected to read a VN that made Civ references, but, well, here we are.

Yes. It can, and should be. Rule enforcement only comes second after having some lulz to a lot of them. Remember my wall of text from last page? Point in case.

some people believe that a good and complicated prose makes a good vn (I won't give names but people that are consider gurus in this vn world), in fact they gave a lower score to some vns just because it has a simple writing style, I don't agree with this at all, if something is good it is good no matter how complex the writing style is. At the end of the day if the story is bad no matter how good the prose is the story will still be bad.

One Thousand Lies is legit.

Honestly, what a silly reason to drop a VN, though in your case that was the final nail in the coffin eh? Wow, guess you'll be one of the < 100 people out of 3000+ that give S;G a < 7 VNDB score. Damn hipsters

You know.... if you are willing to pay there are a lot of good free lancers that work for peanuts at Guru.

I'm a fan of the humor in Demonbane, which is as chuuni as it gets. Humor isn't a necessity for every story, of course, and it may not be appropriate for yours if that's how you feel about it; but it's definitely not out of bounds for a chuunige. I really like Clephas's characterization of the chuuni protagonist as a hedge philosopher, and I think Zalor is right about it applying to the antagonist as well. To put t another way, in general, the main players usually have a very obvious and central motive for what they do, the motive is very ideological, and it's usually at least a little bit crazy: I want to destroy the world because people are irredeemable I want to save people even though I don't really get along with anybody, because doing otherwise would leave a bad taste in my mouth Something along these lines.

Although I haven't played the title yet, I have a comment concerning the dresses of the characters. For good chuuni fighting scenes, the characters also should have cool looking dresses that somehow reflect who they are. And overall I think the good old F/SN did a better job here with the dresses for both, the male and female characters and especially the servants. In Tokyo Babel, we have Astaroth as the sole highlight, but the rest are just dressed in plain school uniforms and a... maid dress?! Aren't they supposed to be (warrior) angels and demons?! But while the school uniforms of the male characters in Tokyo Babel look still kind of okay with their elegant simplicity, I can't exactly say the same for the female ones. Especially Samael - does she want to fight or clean the kitchen?! And the rest of the girls also look more like ready for pillow fight than anything else. Compared to Rider's cool dress in F/SN that's just a joke.

Also, to the OP, (Kono Oozora spoiler)

Here, this is kind of adorable:

Your Lie in April Chunnibyou Black Lagoon Gundam Unicorn Gundam 0083 War in the pocket Record of a Lodoss war Rose of Versailles Another Tokyo Ravens Darker than black Chrome Shelled Regios Hellsing Ultimate Witchblade Elfen Lied

also suggesting you try out "one thausand lies", as it really delivered language-wise, especially when considering that its actually non commercial. cant await the authors/writers next work(s), if there´re going to be any.

Luckily I am pure.

Happy birthday @Dergonu senpai and our yurifag! Keep being awesome this year and wish you a good one!

I-I have one y...you

shame on you blue!

Confession: I bought dark souls 3 from greenmangaming (it's 16% off) and then saw in another page that they were selling it around 40% off (gamesplanet) so I asked for a refund and they intermediately gave it to me, I was expecting a really shitty response from them since their refund policy is a bit strict but hey it ended up really well, pretty happy with GMG EDIT: I'm an idiot those are not euros they are GBP (I didn't buy it) Confession 2: I'm an idiot, confirmed.

Made a banner for my own project, Bishoujo Mangekyou Probably won't make a lot of banners anymore

Just woke up, so Happy Birthday @Dergonu You were the first person I talked to her in great lengths, and I'm still very thankful to you for it, even if I don't show it Have a good one

Nope, traveling, especially by flying, is the best, though I prefer my car rides to be shorter. Knowing I get to stay and see someplace else is enough to cause me to relax, and I sleep better in other peoples' or hotel beds than my own. Lots of time for thinking and listening to music as well, something I'm not able to do with my social and work life and my generally packed schedule.

Eyyy, happy birthday @Dergonu.

Happy B-Day, @Dergonu !

Aren't you a little bit too overweight? Sorry.

I found an issue with it just after, caused by exactly what I said I think. Went back and re-did it, should be pretty solid now. It did end up pushing "making," of the first page onto the next, but that's not really a down-side. I found some lines where words were still cut in half, and those are fixed. Updated the download link. kDays is made by the same guy (or people) who made alpharom. Shame it's required, but the original exe is encrypted/compressed, meaning I can't edit it. Hell, I can't even debug or look at any of it. I cant edit the exe without a properly decrypted/decompressed version that I can save stuff to.

@babiker I'm agree with you, but I think all mods here obviously had same problem as bigfatround0, bored (Hey, I also could bored too, okay). So of course they need something to entertain mods, and here we had bigfatround0 willingly to become clown for all of the mod and admin here by posting bait post here, and also to cure his boredom. And I'd read in some forum that sometimes forum need people like bigfatround0. Although I said bigfatroun0 was like clown here, I think the problematic post was not that offensive at least compared to his other posts (Even the target for the post was like it) imo, but of course there's a proverb called the straw finally break the camel here or something like that. And I think it's already intolerable enough, then the rest is history. Note that mods also human, so of course they could be angry or had their limit. But I think by complaining with profanity will not helping the case (Well, the mods also need entertainment though), and if you always saying thay Fuwanovel is shitty, just go back to reddit even though it's quite stale (From my observation it was not only reddit problem, but also with Fuwanovel and VNDB in regard of stale board ie less activity). But if you still willing to entertain mods here and me in the future here, go ahead. Okay, for formality back to topic, I once again didn't had complain about moderation. If I find something wrong with moderation, I think it's better to find a round way to work with that (babiker already point it out about moderation complaint). And the reason I posted in here, well let's just said I was also bored at this time. PS - My post in the past was removed too you know, but I'd definitely would not reacted like you, nor will in the future, because I knew it's pointless.

happy birthday @Dergonu here for you

Happy birthday Dergonu, you beautiful yuri-lover you

I'm 5'8" 140lbs Decay's fking huge

If I'm with someone I usually have a better time when I travel somewhere. Like, I'm fundamentally a shut in, but I've learned to appreciate some time off of my computer when traveling. Maybe you'll feel the same way on your one week trip. I used to feel very much like you when I had to go somewhere. "Why do I need to go through all this hassle!". But it might actually be a nice experience if you're open minded.

Hikikomoris.

Travelling is nice, but I don't like doing it alone, reason being I'm lazy and prefer to sit in the comfort of my house so if I go alone I'll probably just spend the vast majority of my time indoors paying ridiculous amounts for the wifi.

I love travelling. I hate moving, had my fill of that as an Air-Force kid, getting shipped around every couple of years. But travelling around is something I don't mind. Only on a colossal scale *hohoho* Prepare for much mockery and finger pointing, a good portion of which will be indecipherable cause it’ll be in cockney rhyming slang.

It worked!!!!!!!! That is so weird, I never saw an error like that before. Well, thank you so much <3

Welcome to the Fuwanovel and enjoy your stay here. Since you asking for nakige, because everyone here recommended popular one, how about Air, ef, Shinikiss, and eden for the less popular one. Air was VN that ended with bittersweet note instead of happy, Shinikiss was dealing with the death of childhood friend (And quite underated at VNDB), ef and eden had good scenery porn. I don't know if you like sad ending though, but I think those 4 were quite good in my opinion. Anyway, welcome once again and if you want to ask me what will happen to this thread, well expect moe pictures on this thread sooner or latter. It's like tradition here for giving moe picture for the member who introduce themselves here. Oh, just ask us if you need some help here.

μ’s group photo after the Final Live is out! The 9 beautiful goddess are dressed in their Final Costumes during Bokutachi wa Hitotsu no Hikari. There will be a interview broadcast tomorrow at 6:05 am! いまが最高! μ'sic Forever! #LoveLiveforever Source: https://twitter.com/cx_mezamashi/status/716918403982708737

Haven't played Kajiri Kamui Kagura, but it seems good so I made a banner of it. ...and White Album 2.