Dergonu

So much NepNep! Welcome to the forum, nice to meet you

You say you wish to help the author improve, yet you give no information as to how he can improve. (And you also make figuring out exactly what you didn't like about it very hard.) I am just trying to save this person time, so he doesn't have to look for problems in his text that isn't there. What difference does it make if he introduces six or two, or 900 terms? Yes, I get that if he literally just keeps going on and on and on about things you don't understand, explaining them later will be hard, and that the sentence itself might become too hard to understand, but the line you keep on refering to is completely comprehensible to me. The terms used are explained somewhat later on, and the way they are used does not make the sentence itslef completely unreadable. They are titles, classes, what have you. It is possible to get this right away, even if you don't know exactly what they mean. Even if we look at it after you changed the terms, it is not that bad: "Two young redheads were at the moment hiding behind a bookshelf at the far back of the deserted Grand Capitol Library. Evangeline, an 18 year old girl with her hair in a ponytail and Erik, a teenager of around the same age clutching his injured left arm. Theirs was not a good situation, and while at the moment they could barely manage, their chances of escape reduced by the second. An injured Beorcwisp and a conventional female jurojasper with jurojuro unsuited for the opponents and surroundings were up against 5 ruthless combat-oriented liffewagols. Calling it a bad matchup was an understatement." You are being unreasonable and frankly, it almost feels like you came here just to find fault with the text. Where is your constructive critisism, where is the part where you try to tell the author what he can do better? I just want to help this person, and so if I end up being wrong, alright, great, at least that means the author knows exactly what to improve on. But the way you explain your issues, and then say: "don't mean to sound harsh, but you are off to a very bad start. You are putting too much information and too little detail into your exposition." does make you sound harsh, even if "you don't mean to sound harsh." ....

"A narrative work beginning in medias res ("into the middle things") opens in the midst of action. Often, exposition is bypassed and filled in gradually, either through dialogue, flashbacks or description of past events. For example, Hamlet begins after the death of Hamlet's father. Characters make reference to King Hamlet's death without the plot's first establishment of said fact." I do not see the problem at all. Introducing terms you are not yet familiar with is absolutely fine. It's not explaining them at any pont, ever, that would be a problem. Already in this first chapter, parts of these elements are slowly explained, but not completely revealed, resulting in an interesting and intriguing story. I want to keep reading, and I am expecting the answers in what comes next. But I am not sitting there thinking, "WTF?!", because it is apperant to me that this chapter wasn't mean to explain everything, but it was used as an introduction. Sure, a few more details here and there will benefit the story. But I do not agree with your point. By your logic, any new terms introduced in a work of fiction has to be explained right then and there, or else it becomes complete gibberish? Come on ...

Well, I mean, it's obvious that he can't explain every term in the first chapter of the book. He is establishing the setting. So, for example once the Teleporter is mentioned, would it really fit to right away jump into explaining: "Oh, by the way, a Teleporter is bla bla bla."? Once you keep reading, the nature of these people's powers become more apparent, but specific details are not yet given, as it's still the first chapter of the book. I honestly don't really get what you mean. I wasn't confused at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well, I agree that certain parts might be a little bit rushed, but I do not see a reason to explain literally every aspect of a character, and his / her role in the first few lines. In fact, I think that if you took too long explaining the small details of each character right away, it could get a bit boring. You start with a very general introduction, and you do give more information about the character's roles, apperance and such later on. So I really don't see a problem there. I suppose a tad bit more information about their enemies wouldn't hurt, but I think Velo is nitpicking a little bit there. You definitely do have room for improvement, like we all do, but I can't say I agree to such a blunt statement. What you have is good and interesting, and it makes me want to read more. (It's actually quite common to start off with a bit of a vague introduction, and then give more details later on.) That is my opinion at least.

It's very ... unique. I don't really know what it is, but I like it! 8.5/10

Can I get in on this?

Hey, welcome! Nice to meet you! Hmm, you'll have to deal with some inside jokes from time to time. Look out for @VirginSmasher, @DarkZedge and @Arcadeotic. They tend to derail threads, completely without my influence. Erhem. Anyways, here have a picture of the best girl:

Welcome to the forum, nice to meet you! This is true of course, you can't really learn the language this way. But, it is actually not a bad way to build of a limited vocabulary that will be helpful once you start studying the language properly. Exposure to a language over long periods of time will make you recognize certain patterns, words, phrases etc. Even though most anime is limited to very specific forms of informal spoken Japanese most of the time, it's still better than nothing.

It's pretty unique, very entertaining. I like it. You write rather well, though like Aaron mentioned, there are some small mistakes/ issues here and tere, but that's something you can work on. (And emphasis on small.) It's a good start, and like I said, it was a very entertaining read. Good job!

This is interesting. Do you have a source for this? It does seem a little strange that he wants to bring those games over because they are torrented, yet he refuses to release 18+ versions, which means that if the west still wants those versions, (which many people here do want), they might be inclined to return to the torrent anyways. That is a little bit contradictory.

You are all wrong of course. The best girl is none other than Sakurai Mifuyu. Who the fuck is that you ask? This girl of course!

Yes!!! Massive fan. I love the games, the characters, the humor... EVERYTHING! (I even love the anime ) I would literally kill for your collection. So... You know. Better watch your back

Most of chapter 1 is already done, so it should hopefully be released within a week or so.

Information about the book: Kitsune and me is a yuri light novel like story I have been working on since December of 2015. It started as a silly and goofy idea that was supposed to last for 30-40 pages. But, after completely falling in love with the characters and their universe, I ended up continuing the story, and here we are, 46k words and 140 pages later. The story offer elements of romance (yuri), fantasy, action and comedy. The core story is about the human girl, Sakura, and her guardian fox spirit, Kitsune, and their life together. Kitsune and me Vol.2 is going to be the second and last book in the series, and will offer another 12 chapters, as well as an epilogue. The story will follow after the events of the first one. For those who have not yet read the first book, you can find it here: Free PDF download! The thread: Vol .2 Summary: "It has been seven months since the portals connecting the kitsune and human worlds were broken. Kitsune and Sakura have started a new, peaceful life together, leaving their past troubles behind. But something is coming … How long will their days of peace last? An old, broken promise comes back to haunt Kitsune. An old and long forgotten curse once again reawakens... Hatred, anger, revenge…Light and darkness. A shadow envelops Sakura and Kitsune’s life, and nothing will ever be the same again... .... Just like the first volume, the chapters will be released as I finish them. Below is a list of the chapters, and info on when their status. (The chapters will be released in a PDF format, similar to the first book.) Also, as it did cause some confusion in the first book, I will be writing Kitsune's name and the name of the kitsune species as a whole slightly differently, so it is easier to tell them apart. Kitsune's name will obviously always be capitilized, but it will never be in italics. The kitsune people will never be capitilized unless it's the first word in a sentence, and it will always be in italics. In addition, Japanese words that gets a translation in the translation document will be marked with a * in the book. Chapters: Prologue (Released!) Chapter 1: A New Contract?! (Released!) Chapter 2: Escaping The Dream (Released!) Chapter 3: Creating The Dream (Finished, unedited) Chapter 4: In The Beginning (Being Written!) Chapter 5: The Hunt Begins (TBA) Chapter 6: 闇 (Yami / Darkness) (TBA) Chapter 7: 光 (Hikari / Light) (TBA) Chapter 8: ハナ (Hana) (TBA) Chapter 9: Beginning Of The End (TBA) Chapter 10: The Curse Of The Queen (TBA) Chapter 11: All That We Lost (TBA) Chapter 12: All That We Gained (TBA) Epilogue: (TBA) .... Kitsune and me vol.2 Link to the currently released chapters! Introduction to the characters:

Welcome to the forum, nice to meet you Your project seems really interesting. I can't wait to find out more about it Good luck!

Yeah true. Still, it's by no means bad. (And I think a lot of people will be playing this kind of game for the bad endings as well ) The protagonist is pretty badass, though the rest of the cast are better in terms of design. I really hope one of the announcements ends up being a clock up game, hopefully MB.

Euphoria is indeed heavily plot based compared to MB, and the content in MB is completely different. That is probably one issue some people will have with it. But I still like the story in MB quite a lot, despite it not being as mind blowing as Euphoria's. "Too may rape scenes." I mean ... it's a nukige, and the game is very dark. That's the kind of stuff you get in it. I don't really know what you expected. That is sadly what many people will most likely think about it, and that might be a factor that could make it coming to the west less likely. I am very interested in seeing how people would react to the game tbh. It would be the first big guro localization. I don't know how Euphoria's sales went, but at least based off the reactions I've heard and seen personally, it really went quite well, and that game is very dark in its own way. Maggot baits is a different kind of game, but considering 90% of all the stuff English readers gets is charage / moege, then they could be craving another big, dark title. Hopefully that title is Maggot baits. I really do want to read it again in English, as some parts were slightly difficult to understand in the moonrune version.

Great work Arc! Make sure to take a breather now and then to not work yourself too hard. I look forward to playing the game once the final patch is out.

Hey, welcome to the forum, nice to meet you! Here, have some yuri:

You say this like it's a bad thing Come on Eclipsed, believe with me! (Decay, remember how powerful my powers of believing in stuff are? I take credit for the Dracu-Riot! scripts being released ) In all seriousness though, I would love for them to release MB, I just have a feeling they would fear a guro title would sell badly in the west. Just a hunch, could be wrong, (and I hope it is, as I really want to re-play that game in English.)

Damn, nice. Hopefully some good stuff gets announced. (The drama CD announcement and a steam release for an already launched game was pretty boring last time.) (Maggot baits translation this time?! N-No? Ok ) (I still have hope!)

We do indeed

Not to mention, not everyone has the motivation to do it, just to read a Japanese porn game

EDIT: I decided to make an actual tutorial, to make things easier for you. Here is the download link http://www.mediafire.com/download/6p1r6ocv2jxem6p/If+my+heart+had+wings+guide.pdf So Kotori is written like this: 小鳥 and Ageha is written like this: あげは So like you can see, the first choice uses Ageha's name, so that's the ageha choice, and the bottom one uses Kotori's name, so that is the Kotori one. If you want to look at the character's Japanese names, you can look them up on the VNDB page, https://vndb.org/v9093/chars#chars If you go to a character you will see their name written in Japanese next to the English name, (Though keep in mind that is the full name, not just their first name.) You can also, to make it even easier, look at the name displayed above the text when one of the girls speak. You will see 小鳥 when Kotori is speaking. If you can find a line for each character and take a picutre of the screen for instance, then it's easy to keep track of each choice, if their name is all you need to figure out which is which.