Zodai

Apologies in that case - like I said, was like an alien sloth turtle at the time. ><;;

If it's that good guess I'll have to grab it. Already have Valkyria, actually. xD

I can relate Q_Q

/me waves Starts in a few days, right? Anyone have the schedule? My head's a bit occupied at the moment.

Orange and Purple is the editor's notes in the google doc, actually. There's a key higher up. Separate from the main writing itself, 'tis why there's a raw text version in the post.

I heard old blood wasn't very good, but New Order is absolutely worth it at that price.

Alright, useful information. Do you mind if I put up the previous drafts mentioned in the earlier post as well? Is there anything you think they do better than the above draft did? Anything that the earlier one did better than one and two? Again, each of the drafts are unfinished and quite unpolished. Need to figure out where the flaws are so we can sort through them. Draft #1 Draft #2

Hm...alright, fair enough. I'll keep those pieces in note. Seems we have a bit of editing to go on from here.

Confession: I asked some people for feedback on my writing today - you have no idea how excited/horrified I felt when they started begrudging each other's favorite drafts. People are more different than I thought xD

Okay, I feel like an alien sloth turtle at the moment, so this is going to be brief. Direction, at least to me, feels like a piece that's very limited by the programming ability of the team, tied directly to their ability to make sense of everything that goes on in those incoherent walls of code. That said, my programming ability is limited, so I may be incorrect. Secondly, I don't agree with Palas' statement regarding screenwriters. While the screenwriters certainly do write stuff, in movies the text isn't the primary method with which the audience is engaged. The text is front and center in a visual novel, and this turns it into the pillar holding the other areas together. A draft stunning in a word document can go anywhere from adequate to drivel as a direct port into a VN, and so as a writer it's absolutely necessary to edit the text as much as possible, even more so than standard writing. You're going to be fiddling around with those sentences long after they've been place in - before, during and even after the setting of the scene's direction.

Okay people, I need some assistance. More or less, I've been running through a scene with my editor for that VN project - on the third rewrite of this scene and it isn't looking like there's an end in sight. As opposed to dumping all three drafts here (that's what Lino is for) I need some assistance on a subject regarding to Clarity vs Style/Voice (Edit, I've decided to put drafts 1 and 2 on anyway, you can find those below if you're interested.) In short, we seem to be having conflicts concerning the scene - clarity with imagery and exact grammar as opposed to a style/voice that may or may not be throwing formal grammar out the window. They're both important but I'm having a hard time figuring out where the line is drawn in terms of this and whether or not I've jumped too far into my side of things. Other than that, if we've mis-diagnosed the problem and there's something else we should be focusing on, that would help as well. The scene isn't complete though, mind you. Draft #3 My apologies for the formatting. Let me know what you think is unclear, or if anything sticks out to you. After you've sorted the raw text, here's the google doc with the editor/manager's comments. https://docs.google.com/document/d/14fMWrgeIB5SRjU5Q9P0ytYm160V3WcxCroEhgoLsLV8/edit Do you agree with what he says, or is it being pushed a bit far in the other direction? Which pieces do you think he's correct in and where does the voice/style improve the story as a whole? Thanks, and I will be awaiting your feedback.

Creeper World 3 is about 1$ from what I know. Heard of it before, seems to be a low budget RTS/Tower Defense.. Seems to be really good. Was interested before, just picked it up.

Eden*'s sale will be increasing once the next wave of dailies hits.

I tend to go for more real-world areas ('Modern Fantasy' is the term I've heard is used) so when it's set in Japan I'll usually go for it as the standard otaku/hikikomori-type person that I am

Confession: My naming sense is both bad and good at the same time. I'll think up some random Japanese name for a character and then my manager will tell me the meaning was completely different, and it turns out the alternate meaning actually fits anyway.

Good luck. Not something I have experience with myself but I can understand it's important.

I think it's more about latency stuff - the enemy health numbers don't change in quite real-time so the servers don't crash again.

I probably did miss the shitty joke. 999 is a VN.

I think of 999.

Okay, that means you're in a group. Basically the rest of the team is progressing in the meantime - a team of about 1,000 other people. You should be in one of the lanes as well, so you'll have plenty of extra gold to get stuff when you get it working. ...How do I respond to that video?

Right now I'm just figuring out how to not feel like a creep to the other party ;-;

Considering Homeworld on my end as well, though I'm making an attempt not to spend so heavily this time around.

It's much harder than it looks.