I must say, I had the impression VNs = eroge back in the day, as well.
And it's not particularly wrong, per se. There are good amounts of visual novels with sexual content after all.
*Granted, I started my journey into VNs with a Nukigee, so that was quite certainly an Eroge
This is just one of those things you can't figure out unless you actually go and do it though.
Like what happens whenever you tell people to read Onani Master Kurosawa.
Everyone looks at you like you're crazy, but if they ever actually read it, it's just so much more.
I'd actually guess Symphonic Rain wouldn't be too bad a place to start.
Never played the all-ages version of Deardrops, but think that might be good, too.
And then there's always Ever 17, which actually goes out of the way to not show the sex scenes?
Or was that just a version I was playing.