Darklord Rooke

Nup. Wasn’t very interested in Fuwa when she was around, my interest piqued once Tay took over.

Pretty funny and creative stuff :3 You make me sound more important than I actually am though - I'm just a lowly member XD. Looking forward to episode 3!

It's regarded as a good translation in the fan-tl scene, but the writing and language limitations are quite obvious. With such weaknesses there is always going to be issues with narrative, so I'm not surprised you're disappointed with that aspect of it. I don't understand the fanbase's worship of it tbh. Coming from a literature background taints my view of things (I have quite a fair few translated Russian novels) and thus I have never come across a Visual Novel I consider to be well translated. If I was younger and not as focused on writing then I would definitely learn Japanese, but it's a little too late for that. But one shouldn't complain, the translations the English community get are better than nothing at all.

Looks are deceptive. Cat DNA and Human DNA are different, which would make any hybrids fundamentally different. I'm guessing also impossible, but importantly different. And now we're talking about Cat-girl biology, who started this... XD

Yes, but people are defined as a group of human beings, the human bit is actually one of the important points of the definition. It's what separates it from words like "pride" which define a group of lions. It's like saying: "you could call a bunch of lions people, because they fit the definition... except for the bit about them being lions."

@Flutterz: I would just leave it as “prejudiced.” Or "discriminatory." Race is a word referring to the different categories of human-kind, and hybrids have always been treated as a different species (e.g. for example mules, or ligers [which are cool.]) There IS such a word as "speciesist" but I don't think the definition is what you want.

Realism -> anime… bwahaha

Firstly - Yes it is okay to name something. Secondly - It is also okay to ignore him, which is what everybody is doing. Thirdly - Conforming to his method of pronunciation is butchering the rules of the English language, so either way something gets butchered. It's a matter of priorities. Fourthly - Yes, I'm an arsehole and I also don't care. Deal with it.

....... Oops. I take it this is bad? Eh, I use a pre-paid credit card anyway

Because regarding language use he doesn't know what he's talking about. He's suggesting we break the rules to make him happy, people think that's a ridiculous idea, and thus he's ignored. If that makes me an arsehole, c'est la vie. But it's a hard G, and always will be.

The counter to a voiced main character is usually a reduction in content, choices, and depth. Because you can't slot cool bits of text in "off-the-cuff" anymore, they all need to be recorded, and analysed, and there'll be budget meetings...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/06/15/lastpass_data_breach/

Marketing. Also you haven't built up a lot of hype with your gameplay video, which is just the slow tutorial that occurs in the prologue. Your pitch also needs a bit of work. The art looks gorgeous though, and the premise is interesting.

Weird, the art is more beautiful than a lot of anime inspired art going around. Also Cinders didn't contain anime art and it did just fine.

My my my, isn't Shenmue popular XD I must say I was also quite sad about Shenmue 3 never being made. Good to see it finally happening :3

@Yukiru: Depends on your preferences. Some prefer Civ 4, some prefer Civ 5, some prefer Civ 3, some even believe Alpha Centauri is better than all those games. They're all pretty solid though.

Yeah, totally agree with you. To translate narration into English you really need to know how to write in English. If you can't write (and being able to write is different from being able to speak the language) you won't translate stuff nicely.

FFXV and Persona 5 will be welcome releases. We've only been waiting about a decade for them

Okay, I’m looking at draft 2. Paralysing air? I’m reading this and being confused. How does the air paralyse you? There's quite a few different ways the air can paralyse you, and the image becomes confused when you don't describe adequately. You’re trying to build an atmosphere with your words, which is why you’re grabbing for powerful adjectives like “paralysing,” but the way to create a mood for the reader is to be as descriptive as possible. The way you be descriptive is to show, not tell. The more you “show” the more the reader is transported into the scene and that’s when you build atmosphere. Telling has its place, but not in any scene where you want to build an atmosphere, and not to the extent you’re using it. Of course visuals help, but not in this instance because you’re describing a “touch” sensation. You need to get out of the habit of trying to produce an atmosphere with (confusing) adjectives. “Stinging terror” piercing eyes? What is that trying to describe? Also something which embraces you doesn’t feel like you’re having a knife stabbed through your chest. Again an image problem (your job is to convey images of what’s happening to the reader, make sure your images aren’t pointlessly confusing.) Regarding short sentences, short sentences are fine, there are some wonderful authors who specialise in writing mostly in short sentences. It’s HOW you do it, and you’re not doing it right. Work on producing an atmosphere by showing and dropping the excessive adjectives. If you get that sorted, then that alone will improve your drafts of this scene immeasurably. Draft 1 is the best, purely because it contains fewer of those confusing 2 word descriptive combinations. Although “fragments of my mind fall to the ground” is a little weird.

There's gonna be a lot of refunds being requested during this sale 0.0...

The beginning is full of modifying words (first couple of sentences contain 5) which not only make the prose sound purplish but reduces the description available and thus paints a less detailed image for the reader (modifying words are poor at description, as you're trying to describe something with the use of a single word and a word can only contain so much information.) This is part of the problem because the word "warmth" is usually associated with a pleasant and welcome image, but is being described as "hostile" and the reader doesn't know why (no more description forthcoming and we don't know why it is hostile.) It's not very descriptive either, hostile warmth as an exterior sensation, hostile warmth as an interior sensation? Then the reader becomes even more confused because the next sentence talks about a "cold" feeling. So there's a hostile warmth, followed by a paralysing cold, with little else coming in the way of description, and little for the reader to make sense of this seeming contradiction. "Lifeless carpet" is an interesting description, I think the more important question to ask is what kind of image does this paints for the reader that just "carpet" wouldn't? Furthermore "outside of death" is telling the reader what exactly? I can't make sense of it. "red-covered" knife is such a boring and inadequate piece of description, which once again boils down to a love of modifying words (adjectives) which probably is used to make sentences as short as possible. And etc etc.

Recently been replaying Dragonfall the Director's Cut, just an amazing game. It's only 5 bucks from Steam at the moment, which is just a bargain!